putting me first

september 4IMG_1881photo 8  

Ashley from After Nine to Five and i are hosting the Living the Right Life series to share how we are making changes in our lives to bring true happiness and joy. we also are opening it up to all of you to link up your own thoughts and feelings of how you are living the right life for you!

i have said before how i’m really bad at saying no.
i want to be nice.
i want to be liked.
i want to be the easy going, loveable person.

but in all honesty it makes me unhappy.
not because i don’t like helping others,
but because i’m putting other people’s wants and needs ahead of my own.

i was watching Up All Night last night
{please tell me you watch that show! because it is HI-larious!}
and Will Arnett’s character always says yes to people even when he absolutely hates it because he just feels bad.
because he just wants to be nice, they get roped into sharing their daughter’s first birthday with their neighbor’s kid who they don’t even really like.

by the end *spoiler alert* he learns to speak up more and not let people put their smelly feet next to the cheese.
{you have to watch it to understand. and even then you should really be watching it already}
he then said how good it felt to just say no.

the whole situation really hit me because i can relate to it all.
i understand wanting to speak up but being too scared of what others would say about me that i stay quiet.
but yesterday i decided to be honest and open and say “i can’t do this” instead of grinding myself into the ground. and oh my gosh did it feel good!!

instead of stressing about sponsors and posts and giveaways and emails and dishes and vacuuming and even putting on make-up, i turned everything off and read to Elijah.
then we played hide and go seek
then we had a dance party
then we {or he} jumped on the bed
and i loved on that coughing, teething, snotty-nose little boy and it was wonderful!
[until he made me do the same thing over and over and over and over….and then threw the remote at me… and knocked our herb garden to the ground….then we had to cut off the games and eat graham crackers cause i only have so much energy/patience!]
[and that list isn’t meant to seem like i don’t play with him every day. it’s just yesterday was an especially tiring day]

i realized yesterday how much i need to nourish myself physically & emotionally if i hope to be good at anything!
i can’t be a good blogger if i don’t feel good.
i can’t be a good friend if i don’t feel good.
i can’t be a good daughter & sister if i don’t feel good. 
i can’t be a good mother if i don’t feel good.
i can’t be a good wife if i don’t feel good.
i can’t be any of the things i want to be if i exhaust myself to it’s limits.

i realized people understand and care instead of judging me when i decide to take care of myself.
{all my sponsors are AMAZING! just saying.}
i realized i am more patient with Elijah and Adam when i take a personal time out.
i realized i am kinder to myself when i am honest with how i am feeling and take a break every once and a while.
i realized life goes a lot smoother after adjusting my expectations and not pushing the limits.

i want to challenge you all to take 15 minutes, an hour, a day, a weekend, or longer to just focus on yourself.
focus on what you need and what you want.
think about what would make you feel healthier & happier {realistically} and make the improvements you need.
try not to push yourself and say no.

this is honestly one of the hardest things for me to learn to do.
but i know that my life will be so much happier if i can make it a better habit.

what are some things you do to take care of yourself?

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MacGirl said...

I can understand this soooooo much! I started counselling last December and finished last week, initially because I was diagnosed with depression but really I just needed some guidance. The one thing we worked on was saying no and taking some time out for me. Since a young age I have always been go go go and this has translated through to being an adult. I uncovered that I keep myself busy because I don't want to face up to all the bad times in my life. I am slowly starting to say no to things and put myself first. It's hard, believe me, but like you say, it is so rewarding and people won't think bad of you, if they do, they're the ones in the wrong!

I'm so glad you're starting to find your balance between family and other commitments. You sound so much happier lately, it's so nice to see :) xx


Ruthie Hart said...

I am not a mommy yet but I can see why you need to take some time for yourself, stick up for yourself and occasionally "do you" before you do others. And I LOVE up all night, it is so cute!

Jessica Sebastian said...

This was a seriously great post. I especially liked you talked about all of the fun things you did but kept it real...seriously, who wants to play "chase the baby" {or any other game} for fifty minutes straight? I getcha.

{And I love when we Jean and Teri or is it Gene and Terry?! Sooo funny}

Ashley said...

Such a great post. More often than not I forget about taking time for me. REAL time. Not just a few minutes to browse news sites, or shower. Actual time out for me.

Great reminder!

Unknown said...

First off, I love up all night! It's so funny! And I have a hard time saying no too for all the same reasons as you. I am all for taking a little time out and just relaxing and resting...focusing on you. I have gotten better at saying no. Boundaries (the book) really helped me set the boundaries that I need to take care of myself!!!

Alexis Kaye said...

Agreed Megan! oh my gosh! Yesterday I was seriously going crazy with this!!! I am in the middle of a big round of tests and midterms. We were supposed to feed the missionaries last night. I also had class yesterday. My best friend has her babies on wednesday and I still had not gone to see her so i was planning on going to see her that afternoon after getting out of class. So I was trying to pre-make the dinner as much as possible for the missionaries that night. Then they asked me to give investigators rides for a baptism interview before. Then they asked for us to go to a lesson that night after dinner which i was like falling asleep through the whole thing. Then they came over to eat and we didn't even have enough clean dishes to eat off of! I felt like a chicken with my head cut off! And I like seriously did not even know what to say yes and no to anymore. So I decided I wasn't going to stay up and try to study or clean. I went to bed and decided I'd try again tomorrow. haha!

Erin James said...

just found your blog, and love this post. such a good reminder for me today! something i've been thinkin about.

looking forward to reading more!