defining a successful marriage: by Amanda

February 7th to 14th is National Marriage Week. to celebrate, some of my favorite bloggers and i will be sharing some our thoughts and stories about marriage to help encourage you to strengthen your own relationships. i hope these posts will help you nurture your own relationship and rekindle the love you have for one another.

i am so happy to have Amanda from Royal Daughter Designs here today talking about how to have a successful marriage. her message really hit me and has helped me redefine what i hope to have in my own marriage and refocus my relationship goals.

i'm so grateful Amanda took the time to share her amazing insight and wisdom about marriage. i really how you take the time to read her post because i know it will truly help you in your own relationships!

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Blogging about having a successful marriage is a daunting task. My husband and I are blessed with a very happy marriage (we both write "happily" when asked to designate our marital status!), and while our six years of marriage have seen plenty of heartache - and plenty of joys - I have to admit, it is a little intimidating to try to write about having a godly, successful marriage. My husband is a minister, and a theology professor at a seminary (that's a school for pastors). I am beyond blessed to be married to a godly man of honor. And honestly, the best advice I can give anyone seeking a "successful" marriage is this:

"If you want a godly marriage, marry a godly person."

The fact that I am married to a man who diligently strives for godliness really adds to the "success" of our marriage.

If you're like me, you probably have never sat down and defined what marital "success" means to you. You probably have an idea of what success means to you as it pertains to education, career or business, and social standing, but have you ever taken the time to sit down with your spouse to define what a "successful" marriage means to you? A few weeks ago David and I went on a date - a rare occurrence these days! You see, in September we became first time "parents" to three foster boys, ages 10, 11, and 15. We learned pretty quickly that date night is a luxury when you have kids!

While we were driving to the restaurant, I asked David what his definition of a successful marriage is. He responded, "selfless love that perseveres." I asked him to elaborate, and he explained, "a successful marriage is one where two people persevere in their self-sacrificing and mutually submissive love for one another." That sounds like an answer from a theology professor, doesn't it?

David and me in May, 2010

Ultimately, having a successful marriage means so much more than just still being married when you're 80. For us, it's even more than just being "happily" married. It's about nurturing unconditional love for one another. Daily sacrificing in order demonstrate our love for each other. Daily submitting to the needs and wants of the other. Daily seeking to love without boundaries. That's really hard, you know? The only thing that I would add to David's definition is that the ultimate purpose of a successful marriage is to bring glory to God.

In the end, it's not about the romance, the shared assets, and peacefully passing away in each others arms (yeah, I'm a sucker for the Notebook). It's about glorifying Christ through my life and through our marriage. David and I have been married for six and a half years. That conversation on the way to our date was the first time that we defined what a successful marriage means to us.

David and me at our wedding in 2005.

Let me encourage you take some time with your husband or wife and discuss what a successful marriage means to each of you. If we never define what "success" in marriage is, how will we know what we're hoping, striving, and praying for?

Thanks for having me today, Megan. I am thankful for the oportunity to reflect on my own marriage, and to begin praying for what we hope our marriage will be. I'm so glad you took the oportunity to focus on marriage this week - I can't wait to see what other nuggets of wisdom will be shared

About Amanda: Amanda's marks "happily" when asked to denote her marital status. She is currently pursuing a Masters of Arts in Church Ministries in order to prepare herself for full time ministry to seminary student wives. She and her husband, David, are foster parents to three boys, and are learning first hand what it means to follow the Lord in unrehearsed obedience. She blogs about her faith, and the misadventures of raising three rowdy boys at DAES of Our Lives. Additionally, she is owner and designer of Royal Daughter Designs.

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wasn't her post amazing!?
Amanda, i cannot thank you enough for sharing your message on my blog and helping me in my own marriage. i truly appreciate your insight!
on our Valentine's date, i am definitely going to ask Adam to define a successful marriage too!

be sure to check out Amanda's personal blog DAES of Our Lives and her design blog Royal Daughter Designs. she is incredibly talented and you will grow to love her as much as i do!