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a few months ago, Adam and i graduated from Brigham Young University.
Adam graduated in Physiology & Developmental Biology. & i graduated in Family Life with an emphasis in Human Development.
i look back on the last year and constantly think to myself,
“how in the heck did we accomplish that!?”
when we found out we were going to have a baby, one of my biggest fears was that i wouldn’t finish school.
i knew Elijah would be born right before our last year so it seemed foolish to give up after so many years of hard work, but it also seemed impossible to somehow get both of us to finish while taking care of a little human being.
but somehow we did it.
quite miraculously we did it.
we were able to balance our schedules enough so that there was always one of us home with Elijah.
since i was nursing him, i was able to fix my schedule so that i was only gone 2 hours at a time.
the perfect window of time between his feedings.
a window of time i didn’t know would be perfect when i first arranged my schedule.
but it was.
a week after Elijah was born, i signed up to take a class so that i didn’t have to go full time in the fall or winter.
everyone told me it was crazy.
if i went back in time, i would tell myself it was crazy too.
but through all the sleepless nights, i finished the class with high marks.
blessing.
then, i needed a capstone class and was planning to sign up for one this last summer, extending my graduation.
but money was tight, my patience & energy was running thin, and i didn’t think i would make it.
and all the internships available at the time took me away from my baby & didn’t feel right to me.
then the opportunity to work with StrongerMarriage.org literally popped up in my inbox.
when i was interviewed they said i was their first choice and offered me to position, promising i could work from home for only 10 hours a week, fulfilling my capstone, and letting me graduate on time.
grateful.
i can’t take credit for anything that happened. or how everything fell into place perfectly.
i know the Lord did it all for me.
but i do want to offer some words of encouragement.
if you are in a position where you don’t think you can accomplish your goal anymore, just take one more step,
try one more time,
keep going.
because you will find the strength you didn’t know you had.
and the Lord will provide!
and then you will look back with a sense of pride and accomplishment for what you were able to do.
and you will believe in yourself more than you did before.
and you will know you can get through it
because you already did it once
because He has always been there.
trust
and go forward with faith.
[little E loves watching me cook. he screams if i don’t pick him up. :)]
it has been no secret that this last year has been really rough, emotionally.
having a baby, preparing for dental school, spending our savings on applications, not getting into dental schools (which still doesn’t make sense), working overtime to finish both of our degrees, having my emotions catch up with me, figuring out new future plans…
though i know this all doesn’t seem like a huge deal to some people and there are a lot of worse things out there, but to me
it has been a roller coaster to say the least!
what you think you once knew
what you think you had all planned out
what you think the Lord has planned for you
changed.
it was a hard, humbling year for me
one that i feel at times i’m about to repeat all over again
all the previous emotions are returning, all the insecurities, all the frustrations
but through it all, I KNOW the Lord has a plan for us
i just know He does
{i have to know it}
and I KNOW He knows us better than we ever know ourselves.
i thought we were supposed to wait to have a baby
but He didn’t
i thought we were supposed to be away at dental school this year
but He didn’t
i thought we were supposed to end up at a certain school, in a certain house, with a certain plan
but He didn’t
and now, looking back, i realize how perfect His plan truly has been
i know that Eli was brought into our lives at this time for a reason: to give me strength and purpose when i think i have none.
i know that if we left for dental school right away, i still would’ve struggled emotionally if not even more so than i am now.
i know that if we moved away adam would’ve been gone a lot more than he is now leaving me alone in a city where i wouldn’t know anyone or have had the resources that i have here (family, friends, therapy).
but now, being here for another year, i’ve realized how truly blessed i am to be here.
adam is in a program he loves with people he loves being around,
he has gotten recognized by great professors and academics,
i was able to get the right help that i needed for free,
people have been placed in my life that i truly, deeply needed (you know who you are :) )
i am able to focus my time on being the mother that i want to be
i was offered a great job at the Stronger Marriage blog
and i could go on!
i am amazed over and over again at His mercy and His love.
it’s true. it’s not what i wanted. or what i had planned on for over 3 years.
but it’s what i needed.
and He knew that.
i’ve said it before that i struggle with faith:
faith in our future
faith that things will work out
faith that i can overcome
but i feel like i’m finally starting to understand the importance of faith and the knowledge that
He is in control, not me {however much i want to be}.
and He will always lead me safely if i just trust in Him.
[boy is that sometimes a hard lesson to learn, yeah?]
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also, the winner of the Sebastian Design giveaway is commenter #26: Ben+Jess! CONGRATS!
thanks to everyone that entered! and remember there is another giveaway going on right now!
:)
AND! i’m guest posting over here today as well! so check it out!
(if you’re not already sick of hearing from me today….)
i just finished my LAST CLASS EVER!!!
and i realized should have gotten married and had a baby 5 years ago when i first got to BYU
since i’ve started my little family 2 years ago (i still can’t believe its been 2 years!!)
i have rocked the straight A’s
too bad it’s now over and bad grades from freshman year seem to really affect your GPA til the bitter end…
[but at least freshman year was a blast!]
i finally got a good groove going and it ends
ah well… at least in my ♥ i know i’m super smart
hello. we’re now alumni of Brigham Young University!
and we rocked the whole pomp & circumstance
thursday night we had the opportunity to go to commencement where Elder Richard G. Scott was the speaker. we were debating for a while if we wanted to go and just do convocation instead but I’m really glad we decided to attend. however, we chose not to walk in with the graduating class and sit with our family instead. a part of me kind of wished we walked especially when the crowd would cheer for all the graduates but i’m also really glad i got to spend that moment with my family especially with my mom who surprised me and flew all the way from the Marshall Islands to be there with me.
love you Mommy!
(that is a Marshallese crown my mom brought for me that is made out of coconut leaves. apparently the queens wear them in the Marshall Islands. Adam says it looks like a crown of thorns… but whatever. i think it’s beautiful! also, this is after i gave her my stole of gratitude for all that she did to help me get my degree. thanks mom!)
i surprised myself and got really emotional during commencement. it just kind of hit me what a huge accomplishment it was to graduate from college with a baby no less. before it always seemed like this ambiguous, far away thing that everyone does in life and isn’t that special. but it really is special and i’m really proud of myself. i still can’t believe it really happened!
quick story: i put on my cap and gown real fast after commencement so i could meet my old roommates to take pictures and this old lady comes up to me after i put it on and grabs my arm and says, “congratulations! we are all so proud of you!” she then looked over at Adam holding Eli and asked, “are these yours?” i said yes and she said, “oh congratulations, that’s just wonderful!” made me happy :)
also, i realized how cool it was to have Elder Scott speak at graduation. when i was little, he came to speak at stake conference and he asked all the children to come up afterwards and shake his hand. he was the first apostle i had ever met {twice!} so for me it was kind of this cool full-circle moment where i was just this little girl with big dreams and here i am a woman, wife and mother accomplishing my goals.
in his speech, he gave us 10 things that we should remember as we go out into the world.
seriously, so glad i went. especially for number 7. i really needed to hear that one…
anyways, enough of those darn emotions.
moving on.
we got to take some pictures with my old roommates who were all graduating too. it makes graduation even sweeter when we have so many people to share the excitement with!
(me, Holli, Amy, Whitney & Courtney. all with cap-hair)
after commencement we had a big family dinner {shout out to Holli for organizing that!} to celebrate us graduates.
oh, you don’t think that’s really my family? they look like old friends?
let me explain everyone.
Jonathan (far left) is Adam’s cousin. he married my best friend from Illinois, Alyson (second from left) . Holli (middle) is my best friend since 7th grade from Arizona and she is now engaged to my brother-in-law!!
i know. you are all jealous. you wish your two best friends were your cousins/sisters too. it basically rocks.
we then had convocation friday morning. we chose (or Adam would say I chose) to walk with the School of Family Life & I’m really glad we did. my good friend from some of my classes, Tiffany Larson, was valedictorian and gave an awesome speech. along with one of my all time favorite professors Dr. Dean Busby was the keynote speaker. and to top it off, my brother-in-law was in charge of taking pictures of the graduates so that was fun to look out see him.
we also were the only couple {and baby} to walk across together. there were other husband and wife pairs but they walked separately. so it was cool to all go across together as a family since it was a big family effort that got us there.
p.s. don’t you love little E’s cap and gown?! i found it online here for $15 {plus shipping and handling}. then my mom took in the sides and hemmed it to fit him and sewed an elastic band on his cap to stay on his head. isn’t it so cute!! it was basically the best $15 i ever spent. he is the most adorable little graduate :)
this week was insane!
--my mom came into town
--my niece’s 8th birthday party
--Elijah’s first birthday & party
--graduation x2 {commencement & convocation}
--graduation family dinner
--a baby shower
--Easter & singing in church & family dinner
--oh & I take care of a child….
whew!!!
seriously so crazy.
but so worth it.
i proved a lot to myself this past week: i know how to use a sewing machine now & {thread the bobbin}, I GRADUATED!, and i throw awesome parties {if i do say so myself}
i will tell you about each one in separate posts.
but this serves as your warning for a lot to come!
:)
[i'm so over school]
cause i'm free at last, free at last
thank goodness, i'm free at last
my group finished our Suicide Awareness portfolio
i took a final saturday and a final monday
i turned in my Stronger Marriage Blog portfolio
i'm pretty sure i aced all of it
cause i'm awesome like that
{and didn't break a sweat}
is it weird that i have gotten the best grades of my college career these last two years being married&sick&pregnant&hadababy&tired&wornout?
maybe.
i call it {super blessed}
becasuse there's no way in H i could have done this on my own
but i did it guys.
i did what i was set out to do.
it took 5 years/wonderful friends/pee your pants laughter/good&bad times/rollercoaster of emotions/passion/hard work/dramatic episodes/dance parties/sleepless nights/a loving husband/and a chubby baby later...
and i did it!
i may not be the career woman i saw myself as 5 years ago
but i completed my goal
i gained a wonderful education
i grew immensly
and i'm a better person for it.
and now i'm free at last, free at last
free to be the wife i long to be
to be the mother i was destined to be
to be the woman i grew to be
and to be the Daughter of God i know i am
One B+ and One A (in the hardest and best class I have EVER taken at BYU, thank you very much!!) for Megan
One B+ and Five A’s for Adam
HECK YEAH!!!
it may not be perfect, straight A’s…. but I think it’s amazing nonetheless!
We’re GENIUSES!!
I’m pretty sure I told Adam I was going to quit school all the way up until a couple of weeks before school ended. Not only were my classes (or really the one class… did you read the fine print above) a lot of work, but I was extremely sleep deprived and worn out from trying to keep other people alive. (Adam’s included because well… let’s be honest. He would be nothing without me :-))
But I did it!!
And I did it with flying colors!
I’m so proud of me and Adam for sticking with it even when this semester felt like it was going to kick our butts hard.
Now on to next semester….. let’s hope I have a repeat of this post in April!
the baby is coming in April. i am praying he is late. how crazy would that be if i’m sitting in my final and my water breaks? but i feel like he’s going to come right on time. in the testing center or not. so i better get my act together.
which brings me to this decision.
{would it be too much to take spring classes right after?}
you see, the government is offering more money for students in the spring/summer. score. this is nice seeing as how we were contemplating using some of our own {possibly non-existent} money to pay for independent study classes.
400 dollars a pop? no thanks.
so why not use this opportunity to get a class or two out of the way with free money? plus a little extra when me and adam won’t be working. plus it will be an easier schedule to collaborate with adam and watching the baby. plus lowering my class load for fall/winter so i can be home more and adam can be in school full-time.
lots of pluses.
minuses. i just had a baby and will be gone two hours a day.
{manageable?}
you tell me. let’s weigh in. i need advice/personal testimonials.