what is a mother?

i have thought about what it means to be a mother quite often the last couple of days. today in therapy my counselor challenged me to figure out my own definition and what it means to me to be a mother.

lately i have been getting frustrated with how people seem to define mothers and their purpose, both with people who don’t have children and other mothers themselves. obviously we all are in different situations and have different perspectives on what being a mother entails. and for me i have found that’s it’s important to figure out what being a mother means to me. 

to me, a mother isn’t just someone who has children but someone who cares for, nourishes and appreciates her children individually.

to me, a mother doesn’t feel obligated to spend time with and take care of her children. but has an overwhelming desire to  nurture her children.

to me, a mother doesn’t just love her children, she enjoys them.

to me, a mother is someone who is there for her children not just physically but psychologically, emotionally, and spiritually.

to me, a mother doesn’t only teach her children how to learn and grow, but in in the process progresses herself and finds her own fulfillment through her children and learning how to be a mother.

to me, a mother knows who she is aside from being a mother. being a mother doesn’t limit her but instead stretches her abilities to help her become a stronger and better woman.

most importantly, a mother isn’t a way to define yourself. it is a way to lead you to something better.

there have been days/weeks/months where it’s really hard for me be the best mom i knew Eli deserved.

a lot of times i feel obligated,
i feel emotionally unstable to nurture him,
i feel like i’m just going through the motions to get through the day,
i feel unfulfilled,
i feel limited,
& some days i feel so frustrated that even though i know i love Eli, i don’t take the time to fully enjoy his sweet spirit and energetic personality.

through this process of rediscovery, i have been learning that as i
figure out who i am
love myself
and find what helps me feel fulfilled and accomplished
being the mother that i know i want to be and hope to be seems to fall into place.

i have learned what it means to be a true mother and what i need to do to be the mother i want to be for my children. instead of settling on being the obligated, emotional, limited one.