embracing my inner fashionista

it’s amazing how depression could permeate every aspect of my life.
it’s quite literally like a plague.

in therapy, we have talked a lot about finding things i LOVE doing and make time for them throughout the week. by doing something you LOVE or are good at or even enjoy learning about  can become a powerful tool to get over feelings of sadness & worthlessness and help you feel better about yourself.

my therapist helped me recognize how my depression has hindered my love and desire for things i once enjoyed.

for example:
i used to be really proud of my style. not that i thought i was the most fashionable person ever. but i felt like i really owned my style and i was really confident in myself.

my “style” became known around the school as being very colorful, crazy and really just eclectic.
i loved thrifting,
mix & matching patterns and colors,
and layers.
lots of layering.
throw on a beaded necklace and some bright, colorful earrings and you have a perfect representation of ME in my glory days.

once, i remember going to the senior party and i dressed up my friend in a bright colored {thrifted} shirt and lots of different colored jewelry. at first we were just messing around, purposely dressing crazy because it was our final high school bash.

then a good friend came up to us and said to my friend,
“wow! you look very Megan-like today!”

i took that as a compliment
{should i have?}
and decided that yes, this is me.
it may be kind of crazy, but this is me.
and i loved it.

at one point in high school, i really wanted to be writer for a fashion magazine and to talk to young women about fashion and gaining self-confidence, two things i had been really passionate about and would talk to anyone who would listen.

fast forward 5 years and i feel like i’m everything opposite of what i once thought of myself.

i have been afraid to try new things
to be less conservative in my clothes
to wear high heels more often
to wear anything other than jeans and a t-shirt
or even try and dress up jeans and t-shirt
& i’m definitely NOT self-confident

basically, i’ve been in a total rut. but then something shifted.

i had the opportunity recently to write a guest post for a blog about fashion.
it was pretty much an amazing answer to prayers because it helped pull me out from my
“woe is me… i’m a mom and can’t be pretty”
mentality and start my fashion creativity engines again.

it helped me reignite that desire to do something i LOVE & enjoy again that will help me feel better about myself.
{going right along with what my therapist had encouraged me to do}

so i decided THE HECK WITH IT to all my insecurities and to embrace the
big-dreaming, colorful, 17-year-old girl again
{but hopefully be more mature than that 17-year-old girl}
and dress up more & have fun with my style

i also decided that i want to share some of my favorite outfits every now and then
i did it once before and i had a lot of fun with it

this is NOT my declaration to turn this into a self-proclaimed fashion blog
{i am far from teaching other people anything about fashion}
but this is more of something that i realized i want to do for myself
as an outlet for me to use so i can have something to look forward to. 

i hope that doesn’t become annoying to anyone or it seems vain
this just something i have found has been helping me overcome

 

[and so as a start, the above picture is one of my favorite outfits. well maybe not a favorite… but i liked how it turned out :)]