gingham love

i have really been wanting a great, transitional, comfy gingham shirt for a long time.
i see them on all the cute fashion blogger girls and have been coveting one of my own.
so when Fresh Produce sent me this shirt from their casual top collection i was immediately in LOVE!

 
shirt: c/o Fresh Produce in truffle, pants: F21, shoes: Kohl’s, necklace: c/o Rhi’s Designs, belt: thrifted

 
shirt: c/o Fresh Produce, skirt: thrifted, belt: thrifted, shoes: free, necklace: c/o Sebastian Design 

shirt: c/o Fresh Produce, pants: Gap, shoes: Target, belt: free, necklace: gift from Dad from Qatar

it is already by far one of my favorite shirts to wear.
{freals. i wore it three times this week. and not just for pictures… is that gross??}
it is so comfortable and really lightweight, perfect for the coming summer months when comfort starts to take a precedence over fashion.
and Fresh Produce has a lot of great summer fashions to help keep you cool & stylish through the hot weather.

plus {as you can see} i have found it to be very versatile and i love mixing & matching with it.
[which i think i’ve gotten pretty good at :)]
that is something i love about Fresh Produce’s selection of casual clothes, that you can mix it up with lots of different styles & accessories.

i seriously can’t wait to play around with more styles with this top.
it’s always good to go into a {mildly stressful} summer with some cute clothes to pull you through!!
so here’s to a summer full of gingham!
:)

 

:::p.s. sorry some of my pictures are weird & blurry [like the second one!]… we’re having some camera glitches where it doesn’t like my face… dumb.

Salt Lake City Shine Event

i feel like i should write about my experience at the Salt City Shine Event last weekend.
i didn’t really feel like writing about it earlier because it’s pretty much been covered already by a few of other bloggers. but i had some of my own personal memories & feelings that i wanted to write down so i can remember them in the future.

i got there late so i got to tag along with Brooke and Liz {which was totally serendipitous!}
Brooke and Liz are the amazing ladies behind 4 Charity, a group of awesome women who go out of their way to serve others. they also work with the Pearls With Purpose Foundation where they help underprivileged women and children all over the world by helping them start their own businesses.

i LOVED hanging out with them!!!
i’m pretty sure i haven’t laughed so hard in forever and were so fun to be around!
they both have 2-year-old boys as well so it was fun to talk mommy & share stories with one another.
definitely a day to remember!

one of the highlights of our excursion was stopping at a local Maverick gas station to leave some nice notes for the customers.
when we went into the bathroom, we realized the only stall that had toilet paper was locked from the inside.
so we decided that part of our good deed would be to unlock it for the other customers.
Brooke lifted me up to unlock the door on the other side but we didn’t really think it through all the way…
all of a sudden the door swings open inward and Brooke loses her grip on me so i’m just hanging on the door screaming & laughing and Brooke is saying, “Oh no!!”
she got a hold of me again and helped me back down but we were DY.ING!!!
for reals one of the top five funniest moments of my life!

[on a more serious level…] going around Salt Lake and doing small acts of service was a really eye-opening experience. and at some parts it was absolutely heartbreaking…
all the things we had to do were so simple that it almost felt silly doing them.
as in, how is writing a note or giving away cookies really going to change someone’s life?

but seeing the faces of those who you are able to help makes you realize what a special thing you are doing.
when you are able to forget yourself for a few minutes and put your energy into something more worthwhile, even just by handing someone a small note, it can become a really powerful experience.
and they will remember that moment when someone showed love for them forever.
there’s little else in this world that can make you feel as good about yourself as helping those around you.

even just being in the car with Liz & Brooke was a service they gave to me and probably didn’t even realize it.
they didn’t know that i needed their friendship that day.
they didn’t really know me at all.
but by reaching out to me and showing love towards me was a huge blessing for me that day.
and that was a very simple thing they did.

this project really has helped open my eyes to see all the small things that can be done every day to not only be a friend to others, but to better my own life as well by filling it with more love for those i meet.
i hope we can all show more love to one another
and be the source of happiness for those who need a loving friend.

May Group Giveaway Winners!

thank you to all who participated in the May Group Giveaway!
and a HUGE shout out to the sponsors for giving away such great prizes!!
i really appreciate all of your time & support in making this happen!

and now on to the winners…

Summer Beauty Package from XOXO Rachel 
Elisha!!

200x200 Ad Space from Brittany of Three Years Down 
Jennifer G.!!

Ad Space from Ashley Brooke 
Brittany Trevino!!

$15 Shop Credit from Sprightly So {Along Abbey Road}
Kayte Kerns!!

Large Ad from Live.Laugh.L0ve 
Brielle DuBois!!

Ad Space from And a DIY Life 
Rachel Frakes!!

$20 Forever 21 Gift Card from As It Seems 
Andrea Porter!!

16x20 Canvas Print from Alisha & Brandon 
Brittany Pigg!!

Mary Kay Lip Gloss from Our Reflection 
Ashley Nicholas!!

Large Ad and Mixed Tape CD from Jenni.Austria.Germany
Amber McCain!!

Medium Ad from From the Guest Room 
Jacki Pepe!!

CONGRATULATIONS WINNERS!

i will be contacting you all shortly!
[if you don’t get an email from me within two days please email me since the email used for Rafflecopter may not be up to date. thanks!]

HAPPY THURSDAY!!

80/20 rule

it’s been almost a year since i first started going to counseling.
although i’m not going currently, i learned a lot of tools that i am able to apply to my life for years to come.

after my very first session with my counselor, i felt really great!
not just great, amazing, free, empowered to be able to make the necessary changes in my life.
the next week when i went in for another appointment, i told my therapist how incredible the last week had been and how great i had felt.
i already felt like i was making great progress.
i was going to fight this!
and i was going to get over my depression quickly & back to my real self.

the following week after my second session was tough.
i wasn’t as suddenly strong/healed as i thought i was before.
i struggled tremendously to be positive & upbeat.
life got me down again.
and i felt like i was all of a sudden pushed back to square one.

i told my counselor how i failed.
i was embarrassed that after having one really great week how i could fall down yet again.
i thought something was wrong with me, like i was incapable of holding on to any good feeling i had.
why was this so hard for me?

then my counselor said, “well that sounds very ambitious of you. why do you expect to be totally in control of your feelings after one week? you are a big perfectionist, aren’t you?”

it all just kind of hit me.
yeah, i am a perfectionist and yeah, i set very ambitious expectations for myself.
and it’s not necessarily a good thing.

i then learned a very important rule which i have tried to follow ever since:
the 80/20 rule.

in school, you don’t have to get 100% on every test to pass the class.
90% is still an A {depending on the teacher i guess…}
and 80% is a pretty good high average.
so you might miss 20% of the questions, but that doesn’t mean you failed!
you still passed with high marks.

this is how i’ve started to look at my hard days.
i can’t be perfectly happy 100% of the time.
life isn’t perfect. life is hard. life is going to continue to be hard!
Elijah will whine, me and Adam will argue, and i will question my ability as a mother & wife.
these are facts. 

so i allow myself to have hard days.
i give myself a 20% cushion to be upset & overwhelmed.
and then i try better the next day to reach that goal of an 80% passing rate.

the truth is, i still struggle a lot!
but following the 80/20 rule has been one of my saving graces.
it gives me more perspective & balance to my life.
and it helps keep me motivated to move forward.

maybe soon i’ll actually be strong enough to work up to a 90/10 rate.
maybe 95/5 {hah! yeah right! that seems impossible}
but i know that if i keep trying to at least have more good days than bad [and allow myself to have the bad days] i'm on the right track to happiness.

 

Send Something Good & Make New Friends

i had so much fun this last month participating in Gentri, Kaitlyn, and Kristy’s awesome blogger connection project Send Something Good.
it was a really great way to meet other bloggers from around the world that i know i probably would have never really had the chance to meet.

the had the opportunity to get to know Joy from A Vintage Joy and send her a package.
i had never met Joy or come across her blog before so it was really fun to meet a new friend in this blog-o-sphere. and Joy is pretty much one of the coolest/cutest/nicest girls i have ever met!!
[she just made this coolest mounted dragon head!! i want to do that for Eli’s room!]

i learned that Joy loved the colors purple & mint, owls, handmade things, traveling, photography & hot air balloons. i tried my best to incorporate as many of her favorite things as i could and came up with this sweet little package for her.

 

i got her some purple & mint {& red} nail polish, some famous BYU candy [chocolate covered cinnamon bears & mint truffles], an owl necklace from Sebastian Design, some maps & brochures of Utah {for traveling :)}, and a handmade frame and little inspiration notebook {with hopefully what looked like vintage touches} and a letter.

i had SO much fun putting together her package & making her gifts!!
[afterwards i wanted to make some myself, ha]
i kind of love giving presents so sometimes i got a little crazy…
but it’s totally worth it when you get to see {read} how excited the person is!

i was so happy i got to meet Joy and we are able to start a friendship that i wouldn’t have had otherwise!

the blessed saint that had me was Lyndsey from The Stationary Place.
and oh.my.GOSH!! i was kind of freaking out over her package!

     

she sent me a little treasure box with my name on it full of wonderful little goodies!
different kinds of notebooks, complimentary pencils, earrings, clips, paper straws, recipe cards, cute magnets, and some nail polish.
she also wrote me the nicest note and it turns out we have a lot in common!
{i love that about the blogging world!}
i absolutely LOVED it and felt so undeserving of such an amazing gift.
i keep the little treasure box by my bedside to hold the things that are special to me.

i really cannot thank Lyndsey enough for putting all that time and energy into my gift!
she is a very very talented woman & her abilities are evident in every inch of the package.
i’m so glad i got to be matched up with her because i already know she will become another very dear friend!

i’m so glad i got to participate in this Send Something Good project and meet these amazing ladies!
i feel so blessed to be a part of this blogging community where there are so many women who are just like me that i can reach out to & have their good influence in my life.
it has been a really amazing experience and one that i wouldn’t trade for anything!

thanks Gentri, Kaitlyn, and Kristy for putting this all together!
you rock!

Our Reflection guest post + giveaway

i am so grateful Laura is over here on my blog today! 

she is a very inspiring woman, wife, and mother! 

i can't believe how much she does on a daily basis. it completely astounds me!
she is here today sharing something so special and important to remember.
plus there is an awesome giveaway at the end!!
so please stick around and get to know Laura better :)

Is a blog name really "that" important? 

Should you completely stress yourself out over it? 

I guess I answered yes to both these questions because that's what I did. For weeks. Seriously. If I was going to jump into the world of blogging, I wanted our name to reflect who we really were. I came up with a list of at least a dozen possibilities but they had already been taken. I was literary beating myself up with why couldn't I come up with a simple blog name. Then it hit me. "I" can't do anything on my own. I needed to take the advise I'm constantly giving to others, step back and pray about it. And that's exactly what I did. 

God knew my thoughts. I didn't need to do a hour long prayer with "thees" and "thous" for God to understand what I was trying to say. I simply asked God to use me as a dispel for His will. To be someone who would help spread His word though my blog. Not being someone throwing a bible at you, but by leading by example.

My husband and I are in a couple bibles study and one night when he was speaking about how husbands should treat their wives, he turned at looked directly into my eyes and said, "When I look at my wife, I see Jesus face transparent before hers. There is nothing I wouldn't say or do to her, that I wouldn't say directly to Him." 

I was breathless. So beautifully said, I was bit in aw. My husband is an amazing, admirable man. I rehearsed in my mind, over and over those words he spoke to me that night. My husband is the reflection of a mighty and faithful servant. That was it! That's how I wanted our family to be known, as faithful servants. And to be this, we needed to live in His reflection. 

That's how our little blog came to life. I made my news years goal and on January 1, 2012, Our Reflection came to life. I have my weekly link up parties but I'm now focusing more on posting what's in my heart. What we can do to make a difference in the lives of others. What we can do to live in His reflection.

I hope you found this encouraging. I would love to hear your stories of how God's working in your life. Come drop by and say hi.

Blog  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Photography

AND A GIVEAWAY!! 

Laura is giving away a this awesome Spa Kit! 

here's how to enter: 

leave a comment for each entry

[mandatory]

1. follow Laura's blog 

[optional]

2. follow Laura on Facebook 

3. follow Laura on Twitter

4. follow Laura's photography blog 

GOOD LUCK! 

May Favorite Post Link-Up

It's the seventh month of the favorite post link-up!

Be sure to check out the hosts to find out their favorite posts this month + other blog posts from the link-up!

This month's hosts include:

Ashley from After Nine To Five / Megan from And Here's To You, Mrs. Robinson

My favorite post of the month is:

the “just a mother” lie

JOIN US BELOW!

If you're interested in hosting, please send Ashley an email at afterninetofive@gmail.com and she’ll get in contact with you when we have an opening!

Inspiration

i love this video.
i love how at the beginning they are talking about parenthood and how “it doesn’t get easier we just come to understand things better.”
i love then how it talks about using the scriptures to lead us and guide us to be better.
and the metaphor or reading the scriptures is like talking to our old friends.   love it!   [and Mom & Dad Patterson, if you watch this Dallin Bayles’ wife is in it toward the end :)]  

Saturday Favorites + winners

today i’m headed up to Salt Lake to go to the Shine Event!
i hope to be able to meet some of you there as we spread the shine
:)

so for your lazy, Memorial Day weekend pleasure, here are some great links you MUST check out:

for all that Tahnie is going through, i have never met someone more positive, more full of life than her!
i love her sweet reminders to be grateful for the lives we have and the people who we love that bring us the most happines. if you haven’t read her blog then i don’t know why you have waited so long. you NEED to read her powerful story!

i love the new Work On You Wednesdays that Our DIY Diaries started!
and the latest video they shared about relationships is hilarious and very helpful :)
if you haven’t checked out their series, be sure to do so because it really is helpful and so needed in all our lives!

my friend Whitney from Sew Much 2 Create turned this fugly shirt….

into this freaking cute skirt!!!
 
um…. WHAT?!!?
SO CUTE!!!!
just the fact that she could see the potential in the skirt is beyond me.
Whitney has skillz up the wah-zoo and her blog shows off a lot of her awesome tricks.
be sure to check it out and be amazed!

 
i love this 3 disc handstamped necklace from Cassie’s shop!
it is such a sweet & simple reminder to enjoy life and not to let things get you down

i’m in love love LOVE over this headband!!
at first i saw that it was a little girl headband and i thought, “oh man!! i always get gypped!”
then when i saw Monique modeling this for us older women i got so excited!
i think it’s absolutely gorgeous.

 

i am seriously dying over this amazing triangle quilt Rachel made!
it is SO incredible and the colors are absolutely gorgeous!
i wish i had some kind of sewing skills to i could replicate that.
or i wish Rachel still lived near me so can make me one.
i love it so so so so much!

love these geometric nails from Izzy over at Jar of Feathers!
someday i’ll have enough alone time to try them out myself :)

these succulent boutonnieres that Alisha made are awesome!!
i love succulents and i’m pretty sure they are probably the only plant i can even keep alive.
so i absolutely love this idea of making them in boutonnieres!
so cute! Alisha, you are so creative :)

 

and the winners of the Net Nanny giveaway are…
#1: Sarah from Journeys of the Zoo
and
#5: Alexis from Alexis Laughs

CONGRATULATIONS!!
please email me at mrs.robinsonblog at gmail.com to claim your prize!

and for the rest of you, remember you still have a chance to win some great prizes in the May Group Giveaway!

 

happy Memorial Day weekend to everyone!

exploring

[my feet are turned weird apparently…? i think it’s the shoes]

[i threw the tennis ball and he was really concerned about where it went]

yesterday we went exploring around our little neighborhood apartment complex. we looked at bugs
collected rocks
found playground treasures {a tennis ball}
looked at flowers & leaves
discovered new paths
and ran ran RAN!

i’m glad we have one more summer here in Provo and even more glad that Elijah is old enough to finally enjoy it.
i love Provo summers & will be so sad when we have to say goodbye. walking around our neighborhood made me really sad to leave.
i love this little place!! more than i thought i ever could.

but right as i was feeling sentimental & nostalgic,
Eli decided to run away from me & ignore my instructions to not run into the street
throwing me back into reality and taking him swiftly home for his nap.

i will still miss this place.

Salt Lake City Shine Event

are you going??

i am!
i hope to see you there!

you can find more information here.

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

 
{custom coat hanger hooks}

last week i got this amazing package in the mail from my friend Katy at Somewhere Over the Rainbow.
i.died.

i started squealing and jumping up and down right when i saw it.
i could not believe how absolutely adorable it had turned out!
Kay said she was sending me a surprise but this far exceeded my expectations!

Katy is incredibly talented with a huge heart.
her shop started as a tribute to her precious daughter who died at birth and has become something wonderful.
i feel honored to know Katy & blessed by her talents!

here’s more about Katy’s shop in her own words:

Somewhere Over the Rainbow. Custom, personal creations from wood, paper, glass, ribbon and love. {And pretty soon we're getting my new sewing machine into the mix!}

What started as a way to remember my daughter has blossomed into so much more. It's about celebrating life and babies and children. It's about cherishing those bonds that make us family, by blood or by love alone. It's about remembering those moments you never want to forget and watching as time spreads before us.

I like to think my shop encompasses the sacred connection between remembrance and hope through the support of those affected by pregnancy and infant loss. Proceeds from remembrance items are used to gift such items to other families on similar grief journeys. I lost my beautiful daughter Hannah to stillbirth and these things are done in her honor. So thank you for stopping by and for your support.

In appreciation for all these things I'd like to offer a 20% discount good through the end of June on any purchase from my shop. Just use coupon code SPRING20 at checkout. I'd also be more than happy for you to follow this path with me.....

Etsy // Facebook // Blog // Pinterest

a son’s love

 
there’s something special about a boy’s love for their mother.
different from the love between father and son.
and it’s almost indescribable until you have a boy of your own.

i joke a lot about how i can’t wait to have a girl or girls seem so much easier than boys.
and part of me really does believe that.

when i found out we were going to have a boy, i was totally shocked & yes, a little upset.
i didn’t grow up with younger brothers or have lots of little boy cousins.
when i babysat, i never knew how to handle little boys!
but i totally got little girls. they were my favorite!

so when we found out we were going to have a boy, i didn’t really know what to do.
why would i be given a boy when i have no idea how to deal with them?

but now i know exactly why.
i needed Elijah.
i needed to have that special love & bond in my life.
i needed to feel the love that only a son can give.
and it is greater than i thought it could ever be!

the way he smiles so big once he sees me come through the door in the morning.
the way he knows i will take care him no matter the need, problem, or boo-boo.
the way only mom knows the right way to kiss owies goodbye.
the way he snuggles up into my chest and begs to be sung to before being taken into bed.
because only his mama can sing that way.

there is definitely a very special & very sacred bond between mother and son that can never be broken.

i am so grateful i have my little boy in my life.
it would be dull without him!

May Group Giveaway!

it’s giveaway day!

there are 11 awesome prizes available
from 11 awesome sponsors
for 11 awesome winners!!

so excited about them all!

so without further ado, here’s the prizes available!

 

{please remember that out of respect to my sponsors only follow/like their blogs/pages/twitter if you really will continue to follow them & really want to win their specific prize. no quit-sies after the giveaway is over!}

 

 

Summer Beauty Package from XOXO Rachel

Rachel is absolutely one of the cutest girls EVER!!
her style is amazing and man! i wish i had her wardrobe
{actually she’s starting to sell items in her closet here}
seriously, you will fall in love with her style and blog right away!

 

today Rachel is giving away a "summer beauty" package!
-2 Essie nail polishes: in Tour De Finance and Ole Caliente! Perfect summer colors to make your skin pop!
-Sally Hansen Airbursh Legs: Spray-on makeup for perfect summer legs!
-Silver bangle bracelets: Compliments any skin tone and makes you look goooood!

 

 blog / instagram

 

 

200x200 Ad Space from Brittany of Three Years Down

 

i am so excited to have Brittany as a sponsor this month!
she is so kind and patient and i have loved getting to know her & her blog!
you definitely should be checking her out and getting to know her better stat

 

today she is giving away a 200x200 ad space for one month on her blog

 

blog / twitter / pinterest

 

 

Ad Space from Ashley Brooke

 

i think i already have professed my love for Ashley recently but i will say it again,
love.this.girl!
and can i please have her hair??
seriously have hair envy with Ashley beautiful golden waves!

 

today Ashley is giving away an ad space on her blog

 

blog / facebook / twitter

 

 

$15 Shop Credit from Sprightly So {Along Abbey Road}

i have already confessed recently my love affair with Abbey’s blog.
but seriously this girl is amazing!
and if her blog and style wasn’t awesome enough, she has the most adorable shop where her talent continues to astound me!
i am pretty sure Eli needs one of each bow tie thank you very much!

 

Abbey is giving away a $15 shop credit to her shop Sprightly So

  

shop / blog / facebook / twitter

 

 

Large Ad from Live.Laugh.L0ve

 

 

Cassie is another incredible woman who i feel incredibly privleged and blessed to know.
she has been one of the kindest & dearest friends in this bloggy world and i cannot thank her enough for her friendship!
Cassie is always there for you no matter what and can make your worst days brighter just by the love she shares.
i love this girl with all my blogging heart and am so happy i have met her!

 

today Cassie is giving away a large ad on her blog

 

blog / shop / facebook / twitter / bloglovin’ 

 

 

 

Ad Space from And a DIY Life

Ashley is basically the most amazing woman i have ever met!

once Ashley sets her mind to something, it gets done. and not only does it get done, it turns out 1000x more amazing than you could ever do it!
she is my mentor, my best friend, my biggest fan, and my inspiration.
there are so many people who i feel so blessed to meet through blogging and Ashley is one of the absolute best!

 

Ashley is giving away an ad space on her new blog, And a DIY Life
if you haven’t checked it out yet you should!

 

blog / shop / facebook / twitter

 

 

 

$20 Forever 21 Gift Card from As It Seems

 

there are not enough words of love to express my feelings towards Sue!
she has helped me get out of my hole so much and really inspired me to reach out more to people.
when i first got to know Sue, i was in a really weird place with my blog and feeling really bad about myself.
but Sue came the rescue {without knowing i needed a friend} and really changed my life.
i owe a lot to her and love her so much!

 

today Sue is giving away a $20 gift card to Forever 21

 

blog / facebook / twitter / pinterest / bloglovin’

 

 

 

16x20 Canvas Print from Alisha & Brandon

 

 

Alisha is another blogging bestie who have changed my life tremendously for the better!
Alisha is that friend who always has your back and is always there for you to talk to even if you haven’t talked for weeks. she is that person where you can pick up and talk to without missing a beat and it’s like she was always there.
i love that about her and she has made a huge difference in my life!

 

today she is giving away a 16x20 canvas of this print from her shop

 

blog / shop / twitter / bloglovin’

 

 Mary Kay Lip Gloss from Our Reflection

 

since i first met Laura she has been a huge example to me!
Laura never gives up and she doesn’t let things get in the way.
she has a goal and she does it.
i love it!
i feel like i’m such a quitter all the time that when i see Laura and all that she has accomplished it motivates me to try better, work harder, and really go for my goals!
she’s an amazing woman!

 

today she is giving away Mary Kay lip gloss

 

blog / facebook / twitter

 

Large Ad and Mixed Tape CD from Jenni.Austria.Germany  

i met Jenni a few months ago from being a giveaway winner and i have been so grateful to have met her ever since! she seriously is one of the coolest people i know and is so kind to everyone!
i always say i look up to her for her wit and adventures, but more than that i really look up to her for the kindness and friendship she has always shown me!
truly she is a wonderful friend and supporter!

 

today she is giving away a free ad space and a mix cd of the winner’s choice

 

blog / twitter
 

Medium Ad from From the Guest Room

 

Mary Kate never fails to lend you her full support 110%!
even in my hardest times, Mary Kate was there to help boost me up and remind me of my true goals.
i remember sending an email out trying to explain some changes and Mary Kate, without fail, knew exactly how i was feeling and was able to read between the lines to offer me comfort and advice.
i will forever appreciate that!

 

today she is giving away a medium ad space on her blog

 

blog / shop / facebook / twitter / bloglovin’

 

yeah!!
lots of great stuff and lots of chances to win! 

GOOD LUCK TO YOU ALL!

[and remember, a prize for each winner so that means 11 winners!]

 

enter with Rafflecopter below.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

our true characters

 

i remember my teacher saying once how we tend to treat those who are closest to us worse than treating friends or even strangers.
she gave the example of getting upset at your child and putting them in time-out or giving them a spanking.
but if one of their friends was over and they did the same thing, you would {probably} never think of treating the friend that way.

when she said this i was pretty surprised.
it is very true that this does happen but i never really realized it until she actually said it out loud.
and even after she said it, i was shocked for a few days but then kind of forgot about it.
until something my friend said made me remember that lesson.

my friend said, “We show our true character with our [loved ones]. How we act and what we talk about in the safety of our relationship reflects more of who we really are than how we act around others.”

maybe this sounds obvious.
but for me it really made me think.

we were talking about this in the context of gossiping and talking about others.
yes, we can say we don’t gossip when we are with our friends, but maybe we talk bad about others to our spouses?
in a way isn’t that worse because when we think no one is looking/listening we feel it’s okay to still be rude/obnoxious/inconsiderate?

but taking this to another level, how much do we say/think we are
compassionate,
kind,
charitable,
friendly,
thoughtful,
patient, etc.
but then don’t actually show those qualities to the ones who are closest to us?

we may be really kind to our neighbors or to strangers who need help at the store, giving them the benefit of the doubt, but how often do we give our own spouses the benefit of the doubt?
or try to be more patient and be slow to anger with our children when they don’t listen?
if our neighbors didn’t do the dishes, would we get upset at them for it?
or understand that they have a lot going on and just didn’t have a chance to do them yet?

i think we can easily justify this by saying,
“Well, we know our children/spouses/family and expect more out of them.”

while this may be true, since we are the ones that know our family the best shouldn’t we also know when they need our love the most?
if we believe some of our best qualities are ones of love, kindness, and compassion, shouldn’t we be showing those qualities more to the people we love most?

this idea that our true character is made known to our families through our every day actions has really stuck with me.
i know that i have A LOT to work on!!
but i’m grateful i have a safe haven within my relationship with my husband that we can work on becoming better people together.