cultivating positivity & hope

[the one picture i could get for Mother’s Day. yep.]

one of the reasons i have been so distant in the online world [mainly i’m talking about emails. sorry inbox!] is because of this little guy.
i don’t know what it is but if i thought he was crazy before, it seems like once he hit 2 he started showing his true crazy potential.
there’s lots of days where i just.can’t.handle.

me and Adam are overwhelmed to say the least.

the one thing that has got me through is remembering a talk from one of favorite teachers at Women’s Conference.
her talk focused on how to become better parents & using the Lord as our example especially with children that tend to be more difficult.
[a talk just for me!]

one of the things she said has really stuck with me and i have thought of it almost every single day since. 
she talked about her own son and how difficult he is. and although it can be easy to focus on the challenges and the frustrations they have when her children are acting up, it is so much more beneficial if parents focus on their children’s good qualities instead of their bad.

she said,
“I could give you two different descriptions of my son and both would be true.
I could say, ‘My son has been the biggest challenge we’ve ever had. He has Asperger’s Syndrome and ADHD. He doesn’t respond well to jokes especially sarcasm. He is really sensitive and gets upset very easily. He has a hard time getting along with other children and even when he was young it was hard to take him to the playground. I cannot tell you how many times I have stayed up worrying about him. He is our biggest challenge.’
Or I could say.
‘My son is the biggest blessing we’ve ever had. He is the sweetest boy you will ever meet and is so loving. He is a good leader and likes to help others. He is so incredibly smart and ambitious. He is kind and always thinks of others’ feelings. He is our biggest blessing.’
Both descriptions are true. But which one would benefit both of us the most?”
-Dr. Laura Walker, emphasis added

i have thought about this example every day.
i have thought about how i describe Elijah and the effect its having on how i approach parenting.
am i allowing myself to see the good even in the worst of days?
am i cultivating positivity & hope?

Elijah can be really difficult.
if you are around him long enough you would understand right away.
he is very active and demanding and strong-willed
there are many days where i question my ability to be the mother that he needs, wondering how the heck i’m going to be able to have the patience needed to raise him right.

but then i remind myself of how truly amazing he is.
he is quick to give loves to everyone!
he is the funniest kid you will ever meet and always puts a smile on everyone’s faces.
he is so smart! he can pick up on things so quickly even when you think he’s not paying attention.
i love his curiosity and how he longs to learn more about the world around him.
he’s quirky & goofy which means you can never be too upset with him for long.
and he’s the cutest little kid around!!

when Eli is whining and crying and getting into trouble, it’s easy to focus on how challenging parenthood is.
when people ask me how Eli is doing, it’s easy to immediately say, “well, he’s crazy & driving us crazy.”
that’s easy. complaining is easy. {in any situation}

but it takes extra effort & strength & relying on the Lord to stay positive & count our blessings.

Dr. Walker said,
“We need to see our children as the Savior sees them. And He always sees our potential.”