the “just a mother” lie

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[my mom and i and Women’s Conference]

a couple of weekends ago i got to go to Women’s Conference with my mom.
it was the first time either of us had been and since it’s my last spring here in Utah we decided why not hit it up??
it was an absolutely amazing experience and it was exactly what i needed to hear especially after our long trip to San Diego.
and it is great to reflect on after days like today…

i had to go to the store today to replenish our milk supply for Elijah’s addiction.
usually we all go together as a family but since our milk was almost gone and i knew Eli was going to go ape crazy if he didn’t get his allotted milk in the morning i decided to go to the store alone.
which is fine. i’ve done it before. i totally got this.

it was close to Elijah’s lunchtime & naptime so he’s already starting to get antsy.
a nice produce clerk gave him a sucker and Elijah cried cause he couldn’t open it but then cried when i offered to help him.
then he took 2 licks and threw it on the floor.
then he was trying to climb out of his seat and get out of the cart and got mad when i put him back in.
then he was screaming at me for who knows what.
then another nice clerk gave him another sucker which provoked the crying pattern again.
then as he’s eating the 2nd sucker, he tries to take another sucker from the cashiers at the front and throws the second one on the floor.
then as we are checking out i realize Adam has the card to pay with and so i have no way to pay.
so i call Adam, they say they can hold my groceries for me, and i race to the school to pick up the card.
then Elijah is screaming at me the whole way there and back because he wants milk.
i try to calm him down and make my way back to the store where Eli calms down slightly.
then i put Elijah back in the car where he continues to scream, i almost back into a car who proceeds to stare me down even though they were the ones that sped up behind me, and i make my way back to the school to pick up Adam.
all while Elijah is still screaming his head off and refusing to relax.

on about the 4th or 5th time i tried to get him to look at the blue truck or count the trees i just started to cry.
i couldn’t help but think that there was so much more to life than running errands with screaming children and revolving activities around nap times.
people do so much more with their lives and here i am, just a mom.

right after the words “just a mom” flew into my head, i immediately thought of a video i saw at women’s conference about a young mother and how she was able to overcome the “just a mom” lie.

a lot of times it does feel like you are just doing mundane tasks.
getting kids up and ready.
doing laundry.
making dinner.
going to the store.
watching Elmo.
picking up toys.
it’s not a glamorous job by any means. 

but then thinking about Women’s Conference and reading this talk made me understand my role a little better.

“Do the best you can through these years, but whatever else you do, cherish that role that is so uniquely yours and for which heaven itself sends angels to watch over you and your little ones.”
-Elder Holland

i realized by saying “i’m just a mom” i’m diminishing the role of motherhood.
i’m making it sound like it’s not a big deal to be a mom, or that it’s easy.
two things which being a mother definitely is NOT

being a mother to Elijah means i know the best way to comfort him when he falls and hits his head.
it means i understand the way he learns best and am able to help teach him correct principles to live by.
it means i know how he likes to be put down to bed at night, how he likes to say prayers, and what the best kind of kiss is.
it means i am raising him to be a great leader, example, and friend for the next generation.

being a mother is a huge responsibility.
besides the basic needs to keep a human being alive, you also have to teach & train children to be the best person they can be.
a task not very easy with a 2-year-old.

and most importantly, being a mother is doing God’s work. 
being a mother is an eternal partnership with Heavenly Father where we are given the opportunity to raise His spirit children to be disciples of Christ.

“We thank all of you, including our own mothers, and tell you there is nothing more important in this world than participating so directly in the work and glory of God”
-Elder Holland

motherhood doesn’t define me.
i am not just a mom.
i am Megan.
i am a Family Life major.
i am a blogger.
i am a friend
i am a daughter, a sister, a wife.
i am a mother. 
and i am a daughter of God.


{and seriously. you need to read this talk, LDS or not. it is beyond amazing and has provided me with so much hope. there’s too many good quotes that i can’t share them all.}


Alexis Kaye said...

You're amazing Megan! I think I would have started crying a lot earlier than you! haha! Have you heard of the book "The Gift of giving Life"? It's a book written by LDS doctors about the blessings and beauty of motherhood. I haven't read it yet but I plan to and my SIL says it's amazing.

Nay said...

Thank you for saying what's on all of our hearts as mommies:)

Chelsea Olivia said...

awesome post Megan! Posts like this make me look forward to being a mum someday and overcoming all of these challenges myself :)

Alyssa said...

Every word true! I love it! Such positivity!!

Meredith Tuttle said...

So true!! Love this and can so relate. I hear 3's even harder than 2 but HOW can that be true?!

Stacey said...

Beautifully written, Megan! Happy (early) Mother's Day to you :)

Cassie @ Live.Laugh.L0ve. said...

Such a beautiful post Megan! I love this, i love that you realize that you are not just a mom! Many hugs your way friend!

Anonymous said...

We are never "just a mom". So very very true Megan. As a stay at home mom, I often hear "you must have it sooo easy" that for awhile there, I began to feel that my job as a parent .... my job of shaping and molding the next generation .. is worthless. This post is just what I needed. Thanks :)

the Momma Bird said...

I need this post this morning. Thanks hun. And - I know all too well about those fits - it WILL get better. I promise. It will.

Aubrey said...

thank you.

Amanda Kristeen said...

Amen! Beautiful post! And wow, Elder Holland surely helps keep it in perspective. And it was so great to see you & your mom!

Unknown said...

What a great post Megan!!! Sharing this with all my mommy friends!!! :)

Sue said...

This is wonderful Megan! I read it and it reminds me of all the reasons I'm terrified/nervous/avoiding becoming a mother. I've said it before but I love your writing. Thank you for sharing! xo

Kaitlyn B said...

I loved this post! Elder Holland always has the perfect things to say to brighten my day. Thanks for sharing and inspiring :)

Natalia Lynn said...

Just found your blog and oh man can I understand! I thought I had it together with my first kid, but that was my mistake. Turns out he's a mellow good kinda kid. Then my second boy came along and he's giving me a run for my money! Great points though about the importance of being a stay at home mom! Sometimes it most definitely doesn't feel like you're doing anything!

Liv said...

I hate those days when you feel so overwhelmed you wish you could have break from parenthood.

But, it'll all be worth it someday! Maybe even right after nap time when you get to pick up a little cutie and enjoy a slobbery kiss.