blessings of welfare

i have thought a long time about writing this post,
{a whole year in fact}
but always pushed it off for fear of controversy, hateful comments, and/or judgment.
then yesterday morning i couldn't go back to sleep cause i kept hearing people's comments over and over in my head and i felt like it was finally time to say something.

i don't write this out of pity. or even for political reasons.
but i thought that with everything going on in the media and in discussions at this time, now was a good time to hopefully give a new perspective to this issue.
and that's exactly what i hope to do; help others see a new way that may be different from what they understand and help people see there is more to the story before they make grand, sweeping generalizations.

the issue i'm talking about is welfare.

on countless facebook statuses, blogs, twitter updates, article comments, etc. i have seen these remarks:
"i work(ed) at a grocery store and saw first hand how people abused their food stamps."
"people are just so lazy."
"i work so hard just to pay for other people's food/children."
"so many people are abusing the system."

every time i read those comments i feel like it's a direct hit to my stomach.
my heart starts racing.
and i feel immediately worthless.

all because we are on welfare.
and have been on different parts of welfare for a couple of years.

so i know a thing or two about these programs.
i know a thing or two about living on government assistance.
and i know a thing or two about the feelings involved in having to come to terms with the fact that we just can't do it on our own. 

reading comments like that one of my first thoughts is,
"so every time i check out at the grocery store the clerk is standing there silently judging me and thinking i'm nothing but a measly, lazy leech to the government? you mean, as they see me go through the line with my screaming toddler, looking all flustered with my WIC vouchers and EBT card, that they immediately have no respect for me and automatically assume that because i bought a bag of M&Ms for my crying son that i am abusing the system? as if i don't have enough problems."

and seriously.
you think i don't have enough bad feelings about my situation on my own?

after reading those things i just want to say to those people,
"excuse me. please live in my shoes before you judge me."

a lot of the argument is that people are lazy, that they can't go out and find jobs to provide for themselves or work harder to get out of their situation.
and this is what i say,
we do work hard.

i could type out a HUGE LONG STORY {in fact i just did but just deleted it} proving to everyone how hard we work, have worked, and continue to work.
or how we are trying everything we can to secure a positive future for our family but right now we just can't do it on our own.
i could even tell you all about our struggles, our frustrations, our tears of just not having enough.

but that's not my purpose.
i don't need to tell everyone those intimate details of our life to prove a point.
or try to convince you to agree with me.
i just want to open up people's eyes to others' situations.

it's not a proud moment to have to ask for help
especially asking for government assistance.
you get all.kinds.of.judgment.
it's frustrating & demoralizing sitting in that office for 3 hours so you can go through your stack of paperwork with a case worker.
it's stressful & heartbreaking to know that i can't be the one to pay for my son's dinner.

but we are grateful,
{oh so so SO grateful!}
for these programs.
to us, they are a blessing, a way that the Lord has provided us to be able to care for our family while we work hard toward a more promising future.

i know it is temporary.
i don't plan to be on assistance for the rest of my life.
and me and Adam already have a plan to be able to give back to others and help other people once this is all over.

but for right now, we realize that we can't go towards those goals without getting some help ourselves.
and i have learned to be okay with that fact.
it doesn't make me weak
or inferior
or worthless
or dumb
or lazy. 

instead it gives me hope & peace of mind that my family is taken care of.
that even though we are doing everything we can, we have help to make up the difference.
and i will be forever grateful for that!

again, this isn't for pity's sake.
this isn't, "here's my sad story, hope you agree with me!" kind of post.
this isn't to say that everyone should be on welfare cause i know that's not true, if you are able to do it on your own more power to you!
this isn't even to convince you of who to vote for.
[and even after reading this post you may think you know who i would vote for but you really don't.]

and this definitely isn't to tell you that all people on welfare are the same, because i know there are all kinds of different situations.
[i know some people unfortunately do take advantage but not everyone!]
this just happens to be our situation.
this just happens to be our story, one that has taken a lot of time & prayer to know what to do.
and i will not apologize for that.
i will not be made to feel ashamed for what i have to do to take care of my family.

all i ask is that you think before you say things. 
really ask yourself if you in fact know the full story.
and stop making general accusations!
don't go around making false statements, you don't know who you may be hurting.


and that's all i have to say about that
thanks for listening!
:)



**for the record: the claim about the "i work in a grocery store and have seen this..." i feel like is said without actual knowledge of how food stamps/EBT cards work. so if you don't really know anything about how the program works then i'm happy to help answer any questions :)