before i met Adam, i was pretty gung-ho about making a name for myself in the world.
i was going to get my degree, have an awesome career, and after i’ve established myself, i would have a cute little family while still being super awesome.
i was going to do it.
this was my big dream.
then i started dating Adam. i told him all about how i was going to work and be successful even after children. at the time i was a communications major with an emphasis in journalism. i had plans to become a big-time writer for a high-end fashion magazine.
& be a mom on the side.
the problem was, Adam didn’t like my idea of what success means. he didn’t like the idea of being a mother as an afterthought. he wanted me to stay home.
i thought he was being chauvinistic.
it honestly became a make it or break it situation in our relationship. he didn’t want someone who didn’t seem to understand the importance of raising children and i didn’t want someone who would degrade me to the bottom-tier position of a stay-at-home-mom.
*barf*
then, for some reason or another, my heart started to soften toward the idea of motherhood and family life. i started becoming so fascinated by family studies and the work of women in the home.
the funny thing is, nothing went according to my original plan.
i didn’t end up majoring in communications
i got married while still in college
i had a baby before i graduated
i am now considered a stay-at-home mother
& i’m pretty sure there is no successful writing career in sight.
[in fact, i’m pretty sure with my major that would be rare anyways]
& i wouldn’t trade it for the world!
i started to see how incredibly important mothers are and the vital role they play in their children’s lives. i started to see that it wasn’t men vs. women, win or lose, anymore.
it was a partnership. with each of us having different roles to play.
The most important work we will ever do is within the walls of our own Home.
-Harold B. Lee
this last weekend, i had the opportunity to go to the Strengthening Family Symposium.
one of the speakers was Dr. Jennifer Roback Morse, founder of the Ruth Institute. her speech was UH-MA-ZING! seriously.
she talked about how how the world would have women think that they are not successful unless they have a degree and/or a great career.
motherhood is weak.
climbing the career ladder is where your true strength lies.
however, these are all big fat lies!
though of course women can be great career women and have amazing jobs, that doesn’t lessen the value of motherhood.
Of all the rights of women,
the greatest is to be a mother.
-Lin Yutang
and only women can do the work of a mother.”
we are needed.
we are important.
we are of worth.
Of God, at price no man may dare
To lessen or misunderstand.
~Helen Hunt Jackson
19 comments:
I absolutely love this! I recently wrote a post about being at stay at home mom vs. a working one :)
Such a darling post! Sometimes we cannot even fathom the plans that God has in store for us...we just need to trust Him and He will direct us to the life that He intended for us! :) You're so sweet and such a wonderful momma!
Thanks so much for this post my dear!
You are so right: Motherhood is considered in normal society to be the "soft" way out, and women aren't considered successful unless they have a fabulous career.
Well let me tell you.
I work as a nanny. I watch kids for women who have fabulous careers, are gone all the time, take business trips to exotic places, And it has made me decide that I will NEVER have a nanny in my own home, because those kids deserve so much more. They deserve their mothers teaching them and loving them each step of the way!
<3 Daryl
Roots, Wings, and Other Things.
I love this. And it's definitely something that I have been needing to hear. I have always wanted to be a mother. I look forward to it so much. A lot of people I know and am good friends with constantly talk about their future careers and never mention children. I am always kinda scared to say that I want to be a mother because I feel like it's not good enough for all of them. Thanks for sharing this message!
You are so right. I have been on the other end of the spectrum. Working SO hard, to pay daycare to raise my kids. It was less than ideal and my influence was little. Being at home has been such a blessing to me and to my children.
What an encouraging post! Love it!
Great post today! Mother's are very important. I love being able to stay at home with my boys and watch them grow and teach them. It's amazing!
I remember when tricia was studying dance at ASU, all of her classmates were horrified that she was even getting married. they couldn't understand why she would want to get married when she is such an amazing dancer/choreographer and has an awesome career ahead of her. and it's true, if she hadn't gotten married and gone with chase to medical school, she could've been teaching with a prestigious dance program in new york city. but she chose the role of wife and mother-- and i know that she has never had second thoughts about that decision. she loves her life,and she still gets to use all her amazing talents that she developed over the years.
I love this Megan!! I applaud all the SAHM out there because I know it is a tough job but oh-so-rewarding. I work full time now but cannot wait to raise children when the time comes. I love your honesty about it all too! You are a great mama
Very insightful. I look forward to being a mom someday. :)
Great post Megan! I have a degree. A masters even. And work as the marketing director for a software company... But you know what? More than anything in the world I can't wait to have kids and hopefully get to stay home and be a mom to them. You rock girlie!
amen! love this post! i am so looking forward to being a stay at home mom and wife when i get married! cheers to your hubby for wanting that. most men want career minded wives...great post!
I'm so glad you stopped by because I love your blog! What a great message!!! I'm a stay at home mom and I wish we had a second income, but I wouldn't trade what I do for any money.
You still can write...don't give up on that :-)
Loved this post. :) I've ached for the feeling of accomplishment before, too. I just want to be known for being really good at something. Sadly, I've had feelings before like, 'everyone else is a stay at home mom. what's so special about it?'. But like your husband said, it's the best and most rewarding job there ever will be.
Man, this is so darn true! I always am sort of shocked whenever I hear people downplaying being a mom! It's usually from people who either a) aren't parents yet, or b) refuse to soften their hearts just a teensy little bit to let in the love! It's just crazy to me!
Following you back!
I'm also following you on pinterest, i'm totally addicted to that site!
Love your thoughts! I totally agree with what you said. Being home with your children is the most important and awesome job in the world!
I'm also a new follower of your blog from Soleil Selene.
Thank you so much for sharing! :)
This is a great post! I was a stay at home mom and loved it. I know many mothers struggle with this issue but I don't know a mom who stayed home that regretted their decision. On the other hand, I know moms who worked and wished they had made the decision to stay home but they wanted the career. It can be a difficult choice. Thanks for stopping by and following. I'm following you back!
I loved this Megan. LOVE! I think you are an excellent writer, and an even better mother! Good for you for putting your priorities in check. I still struggle finding the balance in that. Is it bad to wait until I graduate to have a baby? Does it mean I'm not giving them the priority? I don't know! Tough choices, I tell ya!
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