farewell my kind & faithful friend

{my cousin Tawna and Uncle Steven playing at my wedding reception}

My cousin Tawna passed away this week suddenly and it has been hard to wrap my brain around it. She was one of the most amazing women I've ever had the pleasure of knowing and loving. Her kindness, positivity, testimony, love, and talents far exceeded almost every other person I've met. She went through a lot in her life but talking to her and being around her you wouldn't have known by her strength and optimism. 

Tawna was one of the most incredible musicians you ever heard. She played multiple instruments but her violin skills were ones that I constantly stood in amazement of. She could pick up a violin and it was like heaven was singing and dancing all around you. And her fiddling! 

One of my greatest & most pivotal experiences I had as a teenager was sitting and talking with Tawna at my house one day. We were talking about playing the violin and I was telling her how discouraged I was that I would never be as good as I desperately wanted. Especially with so much talent around me in my own family, I felt like it just wasn't meant for me. She sat and had a wonderful heart to heart with me about the power of music in her life and how it helped her grow in amazing ways, including growing closer to the Savior. She told me that we all have talents and we are put here to share them and bless others. And it doesn't matter that our talents might not be the same or as good as others' talents, but that we are magnifying our callings and glorifying God. 

The whole conversation changed my perspective. Not just with playing the violin but in being confident in my abilities, the abilities that God gave me. Having confidence in myself and in the love the Savior has for me. 

I don't remember everything that was said exactly. But I remember going away from that experience with more love and admiration for my dear cousin than ever. And I remember feeling more peace and love and confidence than any previous moment in my life. 

Tawna was one of my heroes, one of my greatest examples. I look up to her in a million ways. 

I know she is happy where she is. I know she is working hard and blessing lives. But I also know that earth lost one of its great ones this week. One of its strongest and most valiant. And now heaven is being filled with her wonderful music and stories for all the angels to dance and sing. 

We love you Tawna! Until we meet again.