So this boy drives me nuts. In fact I told Adam today that I wanted to run away. This week has been... ugh.....!!!!!!!!
But then there's these little moments. These little, tiny, 2-second long moments where I'm like, "Okay, maybe you're not so bad after all..."
Like the other night, I couldn't sleep and wasn't feeling well and decided to go in and check on Elijah.
I crouched down by his bed, stroked his hair and his chubby cheek, and then rubbed his little arm sticking out of the blanket. As I ran my hand down his arm, he reached out to me and grabbed my hand. And he just held it like that for a good minute. He never woke up or anything.
But even in his sleep, he just reached out so sweetly to his mommy and didn't let go.
Or the last few times after dinner, without prompting Elijah so politely exclaims, "Thanks for making dinner for us, Mommy!" Even though he barely ate half of it because vegetables "make [him] choke."
And then the other day, still on a high from Valentine's Day, Elijah runs up to me and says, "Mom! Those hearts mean to love everybody. I love you, Mom!" And hugged my legs as tight as he could.
And one day, when I was feeling so flustered and frustrated, Eli just told me, "It's going to be okay, Mom." Even though he was the reason why I got mad anyways... but it was okay. We both survived.
And this morning he was cuddling in my bed while I was still tired, sore, and grumpy, and he randomly leaned over and kissed my cheek and told me he loved me.
And when he puts his hand on my belly to "try and feel the baby" even though I know she's not moving but he gets excited all the same to think he felt something.
Really most days I feel like I should go into an insane asylum. The range of emotions I feel on a daily basis has to be off the charts.
And I truly feel like I'm going crazy every.single.day.
["Why can't you just listen?!?!" is my common cry.]
But then Elijah reminds me, in these small, minuscule little details throughout the day, that it really is worth it. And maybe having two kids won't drive me to insanity quite yet.
And maybe I am doing okay at this mom thing.
6 comments:
What a sweet boy! My son isn't quite able to talk to me yet but he sure knows when to give a big hug and kiss!
This is so precious. Sounds like you're doing more than okay at it!
I love reading your blog Megan! I can totally relate to your feelings. My emotions are so up and down on a daily basis; I think that is just one of the challenges of being a mother. And my baby is only 8 months old!
Kids do the sweets things. My friends came over the other night and there daughter had to buy me pink flower. She said Amy will love them. Which she was right I did and was surprised at the sometime.
Seriously, I think Jake and Elijah are cut from the same cloth or something. Thanks for sharing the little moments that make it worth it.
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