cherished.

last year on September 11th, i lost sight of my marriage for a brief moment.
i lost the long-term perspective of what is meant to make a marriage work.

this year, i’m realizing that i’m losing sight again. but not of my marriage this time.
i’ve lost sight on the blessing & importance of being a mother.

this tiny, sweet baby that i once {thought} i could never get enough of
i now feel like i’ve had enough.

toddlerhood will be the death of me.

tonight when Adam got home late from studying, i was tickling Elijah’s back on the couch and told Adam, “you got back just in time.”
he laughed and said, “look at him! he looks so sweet, how can you be mad at him?”

i glared and just said, “you don’t even know.”

the thing is i do love Elijah.
i love him so much.
so much so that even when he slaps me 8 times a day i still can’t wait to kiss him when he wakes up.
i do love him.

but lately it’s been more difficult for me to remember how important my role as mother is.
when there are times where i feel like i’m only putting him in timeout all day, it can feel so absolutely pointless.
how do i ever cherish this time in my life?

Adam tries to remind me of my blessed role as a mother.
how special it is that i get to stay home to raise Elijah and teach him correct principles.
how great it is that i get to develop this loving relationship with him.
and to that i say, “yeah, well, you don’t have to do it so of course it seems good to you.”

after a hard week last week with Elijah’s constant temper tantrums, i decided we needed a day to detox a little,
just be lazy and just spend one on one {loving} time together.
so all we did today was watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, had a dance party, and cuddled on the couch.

we didn’t practice counting or the alphabet
or read any books {well maybe one or two}
or color pictures
or even go outside.
[and to be honest, we probably don’t do any of that most days. but today just felt especially lazy.]

but we enjoyed each other.
we loved on each other.
we cherished the time spent with each other.
something i probably don’t make enough of a priority during the regular day-to-day hustle.

i know that once we’re out of this hellish 2-year-old stage and i’m looking back at my time with Elijah, these are the days that i’m going to remember the most.
i know i will still remember how hard it is [because seriously it’s so hard!]
but i also know that when that times comes i would give anything to have my little boy cuddle with me on the couch all day again.

on this anniversary of 9/11, i hope we can all remember to cherish those we love most.
{even through the difficult times}
i know it shouldn’t have to take a tragic incident to remind us of how blessed we are,
but unfortunately sometimes it does.
and hopefully we can honor those who have gone before us, and those who have sacrificed for us, by being grateful for what we have & who we have in our lives.