parenting truths

this clip pretty much sums up parenting perfectly.
it is the best definition i have heard so far.

guys. parenting is rough bizness. 
[business for those who wonder about my English skillz]
and if you ever meet anyone who seems like they got it all under control, don't let them fool you. 
either they're just straight up crazy too so kids don't scare them, 
they are getting lots of help, 
or they're not telling the whole truth. 

like this week for example. 
Elijah is being all cute and we're playing nicely and he's cuddling and is so sweet... 
then in a split second he turns to me and bites me as hard as he can on my leg. 
{like breaking skin/left a bruise hard.}
then he says he's sorry and he's all nice and sweet and wants me to sings songs to him... 
then he throws a book at my face and screams at the top of his lungs because i was sitting in his spot.
and another time were being all crafty and creative and making memories...
then he dumps the paint water all over the chairs and carpet for no reason other than he just can.

this is how every single day of my life goes.

i see other mothers and hear them rave about the joys of parenting,
how they wouldn't want to be anywhere else during the day,
how sweet & charming their children are,
how every day is just magical and filled with rainbows & unicorns.

and i'm thinking...
i could name off a million things i would rather do than get punched in the face and deal with the chocolate milk meltdowns of a raging two-year-old.
and where the heck are my rainbows?? everything is all drab & dreary 'round these parts.

i know it all goes back to my tendency to compare,
i compare other mothers' Facebook statuses and Instagram updates taking it for reality when in fact they are just posting a tiny portion of their day.

i specifically voiced all these concerns to my counselor, telling him how i feel like a failure of a mother because i don't like every second i spend with Elijah, which i felt was contrary to what others had taught me to believe about parenthood.
you know what he said?
"Megan, no one actually has days like that. And the ones who are saying that are either lying to themselves or taking lots of meds to help them deal with it."

obviously he was {mostly} being sarcastic,
[and there's absolutely nothing wrong with medication]
but it helped me really see things in a better perspective. and learn to be honest with my feelings.

i'm not going to like Elijah every single second of every single day.
who would like anyone who is screaming and bullying them?
no one. and that's normal.

and it's normal to admit that there are some moments in parenting that are just awful.
like when a kid throws a remote at your friend's face
or wakes up at 2am
or breaks all the DVDs
or grabs poop off the ground.
[Elijah totally did that! it was disgusting and disturbing and he didn't even care]
all of that stuff
and it's okay to say that!

because even though you don't always like the things they do, you still love them. 
at the end of the day, they are still the sweetest, cutest, and cuddliest.
and they are really just the best little human beings when they want to be.
you learn to live for the little moments that help you to see their sweet spirits inside.

[right before he bit me. he looks sooooo innocent....]
that's what makes parenting awesome.
that's what makes it magical.
and that's what makes every day worth it.

i will never celebrate macaroni being thrown on the floor.
but i will always celebrate the time i had with Elijah & the true love we share.
[cause boys hit girls they like right?]

and for the record, sometimes i actually do like when Elijah wakes up at 2am. then he's super cuddly and sleepy so it's kind of the best. until he turns 2am into 4am then the novelty wears off :)


Jessica Sebastian said...

This is one of my favorite posts that you've written so far. Truthful, witty, and loving. I love it. And you.

Kathleen said...

I have days like this as well. One of my secrets is that I try really hard to look for the good of the situation. I have a whole series on my blog, "things I'm lovin today". Most of the time, when I post something like that, it's because I had a really hard time, and needed to count my blessings to remind myself how awesome my life is. Most of the time, they are really small, and meaningless things, like the yummy lunch I ate, or the comfy shirt I'm wearing, but it helps me to remember that today is hard, but tomorrow will be better.

JaimieA said...

Love this post, you may think it would make me glad I'm single, but I'm a little jealous :)

Unknown said...

Thanks for sharing this post. Toddlers are really that unpredictable and very hard to understand. They can be very lovable at times and in just a snap, they can be a real headache. But even if they are this difficult, they are also the best thing that ever happened to my life and there is nothing else in the world that will replace them in my heart. :)

Della Marie said...

Megan, this was really very sweet, and very well written. I feel the same way you do everyday. Your honesty in your experience as a it can be really really good and then really really bad in a split second was very refreshing and encouraging...I get caught up comparing myself to other women, and I was able to relate a lot to you.

Afton LeSueur said...

Seriously, my friend and I were talking the other day how we are amazed how quickly we can go from feeling, "I love being a mom! My child is so fun and sweet. I am really starting to get the hang of this." to literally wanting to put them in their crib and leave the house. (which obviously we never do).

amanda said...

Love this post!!! (and your blog in general) I also can completely relate, and agree that we hear more of the "perfect" mom stories than honest conversation about the challenges. (I also love The Back-Up Plan, and appreciated the clip! ;)

Stacey said...

I'm not a mom, but I totally know this is going to be me when I do have kids someday! Thanks for always being so honest with your readers :) Love it!

April said...

You're so right. Don't worry, you aren't alone! My Joe is like Elijah. He is either the sweetest, cutest, kindest child ever, or he's a raging terror. This was one of those mornings. Sigh... We're all in this together! For the long haul! Cuz it truly IS worth it for those perfect moments! (and the ongoing hope that someday they'll grow out of it :)

Emma Frances said...

Baha! That clip really is perfect! And seriously, being a parent is so hard and so fun at the same time and describing it to people who don't have kids yet is super hard! I'll just show them this clip next time! I'm pretty sure I haven't even hit most of the hard stuff but I do know that when Holland is up in the middle of the night after nursing for what seems like hours straight I just wanna scream and cry and curl up into a ball. It's hard! Anyway, I love this post!! We all need reminders that what we're going through is normal and that what we see on Instagram and Facebook is just the smallest bit at what life is really like for people.

Shellsea said...

So I am sort of crazy... But I know that I taught elementary then had a home daycare. I agree social media is snippets. Like an Instagram pic at story time so sweet except he ran off before that an after that and again ;) I love hearing other toddlers are just like mine!

katilda said...

I think your honesty is incredibly refreshing. I'm not a mother yet but I've never liked babysitting (more like hated it or loathed it entirely) and it was always a hit to my self esteem when other girls would rave about the joys of made me feel like I would never be good at it if they all loved it so much. I do firmly believe having my own children will be different than the nightmare that is babysitting other people's children, but I still don't think it's going to be my favorite thing in the world to play with legos or watch Dora all day. I think we're blessed for our sacrifice though. Thanks for sharing your REAL thoughts!

Alexis Kaye said...

I love this! Ainsley is only 2 weeks old and she drives me a little bit crazy sometimes. Like when she's fussy at 3am and nothing seems to make her happy and I can hardly keep my eyes open. But I wouldn't trade being her mom for anything! Elijah is one lucky dude :)

Blair said...

Sometimes I start counting down the hours until Matt gets home. Like 6 hours before he gets home. Because if I don't talk to an adult soon (or anyone who isn't freaking out because I helped them out of their high chair or had to wipe their nose), then I think I'll go crazy. Then Elise will put raisins between her toes and get me laughing, and I think I might be able to make it today.
Also, I think Elise and Elijah would be great friends. They sound a lot alike.

kali said...

Thank YOU for this post! I needed it! I, too, have a hard time not comparing my behind the scenes to others' highlight reel. You hit the nail on the head with this post. And that clip is hilarious!

Nicole said...

glad you shared the clip because i haven't seen this and now i NEED to see this. it is perfect.

Unknown said...

I already told you (on fb) that this is the best thing I've read all week, but I wanted to leave a comment here too!

I'm telling myself that it's okay to say parenting is awful because really, it is! I wouldn't change being a mom for anything in the world BUT like you said I don't enjoy every second I'm with my kids! I just don't and that is normal! Thanks for speaking truth and not just all rainbows!

Brittany LeSueur said...

Oh man, this is so true! Motherhood is so difficult and I constantly feel unqualified! I will has been going through a very difficult phase right now. I am really lost at what to do sometimes, but then last night he said the sweetest prayer all by himself. It made me realize that I must be doIng SOMETHING right. If you ever get this parenting stuff figured out please let me know!

Sarah Crooks said...

LOVED this Megan! You are a great write and a great mommy! We have lots of moments that have no rainbows - the other day I used a firm voice and both girls started crying and told me I scared them. Ha ha! I told them I scare myself when I DON"T GET SLEEP! It was SO funny! But I wanted to cry too. Thanks for writing this! Love you!

Aunie said...

he looks WAY too innocent! little stinker!

Ashley said...

My friend and I were just discussing this today. Those moments when you are in a store and the kids are melting down and someone shoots you a look. No one's children are perfect and no mom is either. Sure, we have good days and bad days and some days where you want to rip out your hair and scream. Anyone who says they love every second is lying. I look at people and am envious and think, "wow, they have it all together" and then someone says the same to me and I just laugh. Some days I rock it and others I fail miserably, but with God's grace I get up again and do it the next day. :)

Unknown said...

I am new to your blog and I'm so glad I found it! I invite you to check mine out! I hope you have a great weekend! =)

-Heidi Harlequin

Traci Butler said...

I love it! I have never been one to "church up" my feelings on parenthood. I LOVE being a mom because I love my kids... but honestly I want to crawl under my covers and cry 3/4 of the day because they can drive me so over the edge. It's totally all about the little sweet moments that shine through the rest of the junk like pooping on the carpet, and grinding eggs into the couch that reminds us why we love them and love (and sometimes just tolerate) being their moms. Love a girl who can be real... and you are hilarious on top of it all.