heart *bursting*

our trip to California was much needed for us. 

for me, especially. 

i had been feeling really burnt out in the motherhood department. 

{okay, let's be honest. when am i not burnt out?} 

but seriously Adam's school schedule and Elijah's growing rebellious streak were taking its toll on me. 

add on a frustrating 12-hour road trip and needless to say i was not in the best mood when we first arrived. 

but after just the first day i already felt revived. 

to say Elijah had the time of his life in California is an understatement. 

how could he not? 

he had everything he could ever want: 

going outside to play 

a kitty cat 

{sneaking} candy whenever he could 

fun uncles 

and of course grandma & grandpa

Elijah was so happy it was contagious. i loved seeing him have fun, explore, and interact with family.

one night, as Adam and i were discussing the funny/cute things Eli had done that day, i asked Adam,
"Doesn't it just make you fall in love with him so much more when you see him so happy?"  

and that is genuinely how i felt. 

no matter how frustrated i was before, i felt like my heart grew exponentially watching Elijah play. 

it was that moment in parenthood where i finally understood why my mom and dad would always tell me that they didn't want a present for Christmas/their birthday, seeing us happy & healthy was more than enough.

i always thought that was a cop-out answer and that they really didn't mean it, they just were trying to make it easier cause maybe we couldn't afford the actual present they wanted. 

but now i got it. 

i finally understood. 

when Elijah is happy, i am truly happy. 

seeing him be so excited about life makes me love life more. 

he is my heart, the outside representation of it. and seeing him filled with joy literally fills my heart with joy too. 

so as long as i can make that little face light up, then i think i'm doing a pretty good job.