the compromise


throughout the course of a day, i can count at least 10 times that i (and Adam hopefully?) make compromises in my marriage. 

- taking on the bed-making responsibility 
- giving in to the dish-loading debate
- cooking hot dogs with our macaroni & cheese (i don't like it; Adam & Elijah love it, so in they go!) 
- buying diet Dr. Pepper instead of regular cause Adam swears he's cutting out calories ;) 
- watching one of Adam's favorite shows so that next time he'll watch mine 
- budgeting & spending = lots of compromising! 
- taking turns getting Elijah ready for bed. the struggle of our lives. 
and lots more!  

all of these seem like really small decisions {macaroni & cheese}, 
but this isn't even including all the bigger compromises that happen often. 
like who is going to compromise their pride and apologize first during a fight, 
or how we're going to make our two different parenting styles work together. 

to be happy in a relationship takes compromise.  

the other day as i was picking up the house, feeling kind of frustrated that i was the one cleaning again, i realized how much we both trade-off and adjust our expectations to meet a peaceful, middle ground
there are so many things we could choose to fight about every day. 
[as i'm sure most of you can relate to] 
miscommunication, 
household duties, 
money, 
family responsibilities, 
work, 
decisions about the future..... 
all these things and more that we could choose to be stubborn about & never agree on. 

but no love or joy comes from that. 
to really show a true measure of love takes understanding & sacrifice. 
compromise.


"take me by the hand let's compromise" -The Format

10 comments:

Katie Elizabeth Hawkes said...

I like this. I feel like the best relationships are formed with people when you just aim to always give extra. If everyone gives a little extra, everyone stays happy :)

Naazju said...

In a talk in our ward (the one before I was with you, in fact), the high priest said that it's silly that folks think husbands and wives should do things 50-50. He said this was an automatic way to fail. Each spouse needs to give 100% or everything will fall apart.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. It's always nice to hear that other couples have the same little compromises we do. (Our thing with mac & cheese is hotdogs AND peas. I throw in peas to give it nutritional value (Clark dislikes peas) and Clark likes hot dogs because it relates to memories. :D)

Ashley Z. said...

I have been married 1 month and we are SO in the middle of learning to compromise and I know we'll always be compromising. It's nice to know that I married someone who is willing to compromise with me so that we can learn together and grow closer together.

Love this post!

AbsoluteMommy said...

Compromise is the hardest thing to learn in a marriage. I also like the fact that the word compromise is basically "co" "promise". Make promises together.
Xoxo
Megan

Kathleen said...

I love this! Such a good reminder for me, especially on hard days! And I love what Megan said, "co" "promise"! Wonderful!

Amberly Lambertsen said...

I think I needed this reminder today! thank you so much!!!! :)

Cassie @ Live.Laugh.L0ve. said...

Ah yes! So true girl! Compromise is key!

Ashley said...

Nathan and I have known compromise would be a key to long lasting happiness in our marriage for years now, but I don't feel like we really embraced the idea until a few months ago. We're still far from pros at it, but it put a lot of things into perspective and made us both see how neither one of us were getting what we wanted at times.

Great post, as always :)

Casey said...

Perfect! A quote I once heard discussed how we should spend 90% of our time serving our spouse and 10% on ourselves and our spouse the same. At the end of the day our needs are met, but so much sweeter by the one we love.

Kassie Rew said...

This is such a hard thing! Often I feel like I compromise more than my husband, but I realize thats a REALLY horrible way to look at things because then I become bitter and really, I am no better than him! I have to remind myself of this constantly! Compromising can be SO hard!