"she shall bring forth a son"

[painting by Liz Lemon Swindle] 

last weekend we had a ward Christmas party where the primary children and some other ward members acted out the Nativity. 

i have read the story & even acted out the nativity many many times, 

so basically i know how it goes. 

but this time i got really emotional as i came to understand more of the divine calling & role of Mary.

as i watched a very pregnant sister act out the part of Mary and be continually denied by the "innkeepers," i started getting tears in my eyes to realize what Mary had to have gone through.

they had to travel for miles while being SO pregnant. 

she had to be uncomfortable, maybe even starting to have contractions.

she had to give birth in a smelly barn with who knows what kind of assistance was there. 

and to have all the pressure of raising Jesus?

and i'm sure there was more but of course we only have written down the positive things ;)

i mean, i hated being pregnant. 

i know i complained to Adam a lot! 

but at least i had a safe place to give birth, 

and have a comfortable place to stay, 

and had assistance from others including doctors & nurses to be there for me and Elijah.

but this very pregnant, very uncomfortable, very noble woman didn't have any of those things.

and she was carrying the most precious gift of all, the Savior.

can you imagine how devastating Mary must've felt to know that there was no room for her, a woman that probably needed that extra bed the most? 

and all the fear she must've felt for the future, not just childbirth but as Christ grew up to become the Savior of the world? 

i'm sure Mary was a lot more kind, patient, & faithful than i would've been, 

cause just thinking of that situation makes me start getting anxious for her. 

i can't fully imagine what she must've gone through, i'm sure there's a lot more than we will ever know. 

but thinking about it has given me a little more perspective this year as we get ready to exchange gifts 

and helps me remember that i have a lot more to grateful for instead of worrying about what is on my Christmas wish list.
{which can be hard for everyone to focus on what we don't have instead of what we do have}

i am grateful i have a safe, warm, comfortable place to call home.

i am grateful that i have family & friends to spend the holidays with. 

i am grateful for good friends who make me feel loved & included. 

i am grateful for a husband who is faithful & loving and is a good example to Eli and i.

i am so grateful for noble women like Mary who, by their example, have brought me closer to Christ. 

i am grateful for her sacrifices & her faith to bring the Savior into the world to die for our sins. 

i am grateful that God knows us & understands our limits differently, that He knows what i can handle {and that i could definitely NOT handle that!} 

and i am grateful for the knowledge i have that no matter what we are all going through, that we are eternally blessed & loved.
and that everything will be okay, even if it doesn't always feel like it in that moment. 

i hope we can all remember what Christmas is really about.

i also hope we can remember all the wonderful things we DO have & help bless others around us. 

[last year i shared my thoughts on Mary as well as my favorite song. you can check it out here]