Whistle Down the Wind

when Eli was a tiny babe and would cry and cry and cry,
one of the {only} songs that would calm him down was the song
Whistle Down the Wind. 

it’s one of my absolute favorites.
i even used it as my Young Ambassador tryout piece
{a story for another day… but long story short, i chickened out}

the lyrics:

Whistle down the wind
Let your voices carry
Drown out all the rain
Light a patch of darkness
Treacherous and scary

Howl at the stars
Whisper when you're sleepy
I'll be there to hold you
I'll be there to stop
The chills and all the weeping

Make it clear and strong
So the whole night long
Every signal that you send
Until the very end
I will not abandon you my precious friend

So try and stand the tide
Then you'll raise a banner
Send a flare up in the sky
Try to burn a torch
And try to build a bonfire

Every signal that you send
Until the very end
I'm there

So whistle down the wind
For I have always been
Right there

i remember one very specific moment when i finally truly understood the words to the song when we were trying to let Elijah “cry it out” as an infant.
i was listening to him cry in his bed and i sat on the couch crying and hyperventilating to Adam because i couldn’t handle listening to him scream and be forced to sit there and do nothing.

he probably only cried about 8-10 minutes {but it felt like an hour!}
i couldn’t take it anymore and rushed in the bedroom to grab Elijah, tear-streaked and sweaty from screaming.
i held him close to me, tried to nurse him, and gently started singing his song.

“i’ll be there to hold you, i’ll be there to stop
the tears and all the weeping.”

once i sang those lines i just lost it.
i wasn’t there to hold him, i didn’t stop his tears.
instead, i willingly let him cry.

i cried to Adam, i told him i was a terrible mother.
i was so angry at myself that i broke my promise to always be there for him
and instead i put him in a dark room, ignored his cries for me, for reasons he didn’t understand.

after that rather traumatic moment i renewed my promise to Elijah that i will not abandon him.
anytime Elijah is upset or scared or sleeping poorly i sing this song to him.
it still has a magic effect on him to calm him down and to calm me down.
and i think it is also a way to reassure him that i will still be there through his tears, no matter where we are or what life has in store for us.

a two-year-old doesn’t understand a lot of things.
he doesn’t understand why i won’t let him play with power cords or why i make him go to sleep at night instead of staying up to watch “Elmo is Grouchland” for the 1000th time.
he may not understand {or like} the rules i place for him.
just like he didn’t understand when i tried to let him cry it out at the beginning.

but if i can help him understand anything, it is that i love him.
through his tantrums and whining and messes and hitting… i still love him.
and i will always always be there for him, to comfort and provide.

i hope that even if he’s mad at me for making him leave his blankie at home,
or for going to bed without a 4th bottle of milk,
that he will know that i will be there until the very end.
 

 

:::NOTE: i am not against crying-it-out nor is this post about the cry-it-out method. i just wanted to share an experience i had relating to this lullaby. and in case you were wondering {which maybe you were after this} we did end up using the cry-it-out method when Elijah was older and wouldn’t go to sleep before 1am. it was rather successful {for both of us!} when we tried it later, i just felt like he was too young when we did it the first time. i also am not trying to say all parents have to do this method, this is just what worked for us with Eli but maybe it won’t work for another kid. anyways, just don’t read too much into the parenting methods of this post cause that’s not the focus… haha :)