how do people do it? women i mean. i mean seriously?
i feel like everything has gone wrong. maybe it hasn’t but i feel like it has. i still get sick. i almost blacked out at wal-mart.
and the cherry on top?
super painful sharp cramps in my stomach.
at first they said it was normal. don’t worry about it they said. it’ll be okay. then they got worse. and frequent. and “oh my gosh i hate my life” super-sized.
we went to the doctor again and they said oh yeah we should probably actually do something. thank you very much.
the heartbeat is good and strong so that’s good. we went for an ultrasound. and the baby is fine. and you know what they found wrong with me? a big. fat. NOTHING.
how frustrating. i mean i am glad there is nothing wrong but i just want them to fix it. and they can’t fix it.
i know i’ll love the baby when it comes. but i really don’t love my body with the baby in it.
the bishop and Adam gave me a blessing because i broke down at church when his wife saw that i was really struggling during sacrament meeting. it was very comforting. he told me it’s okay to feel frustrated and that it’s normal. i am very grateful to him and to Adam.
you know what else the bishop told us? he told Adam that i am not going to be myself for these next months and he is going to say to himself, “wow, who did i marry?” but that it’s normal and i am still myself and to be supportive.
and yep. i’m pretty sure i’ve been psycho. so thank you again, Adam, for supporting me.