this beautiful message sums up a lot of what i have been feeling lately at the start of this new school year.
i hope you take the time to watch it and remember that it is by
small & simple things that great things come to pass
Inspiration
blessings in disguise
it has been no secret that this last year has been really rough, emotionally.
having a baby, preparing for dental school, spending our savings on applications, not getting into dental schools (which still doesn’t make sense), working overtime to finish both of our degrees, having my emotions catch up with me, figuring out new future plans…
though i know this all doesn’t seem like a huge deal to some people and there are a lot of worse things out there, but to me
it has been a roller coaster to say the least!
what you think you once knew
what you think you had all planned out
what you think the Lord has planned for you
changed.
it was a hard, humbling year for me
one that i feel at times i’m about to repeat all over again
all the previous emotions are returning, all the insecurities, all the frustrations
but through it all, I KNOW the Lord has a plan for us
i just know He does
{i have to know it}
and I KNOW He knows us better than we ever know ourselves.
i thought we were supposed to wait to have a baby
but He didn’t
i thought we were supposed to be away at dental school this year
but He didn’t
i thought we were supposed to end up at a certain school, in a certain house, with a certain plan
but He didn’t
and now, looking back, i realize how perfect His plan truly has been
i know that Eli was brought into our lives at this time for a reason: to give me strength and purpose when i think i have none.
i know that if we left for dental school right away, i still would’ve struggled emotionally if not even more so than i am now.
i know that if we moved away adam would’ve been gone a lot more than he is now leaving me alone in a city where i wouldn’t know anyone or have had the resources that i have here (family, friends, therapy).
but now, being here for another year, i’ve realized how truly blessed i am to be here.
adam is in a program he loves with people he loves being around,
he has gotten recognized by great professors and academics,
i was able to get the right help that i needed for free,
people have been placed in my life that i truly, deeply needed (you know who you are :) )
i am able to focus my time on being the mother that i want to be
i was offered a great job at the Stronger Marriage blog
and i could go on!
i am amazed over and over again at His mercy and His love.
it’s true. it’s not what i wanted. or what i had planned on for over 3 years.
but it’s what i needed.
and He knew that.
i’ve said it before that i struggle with faith:
faith in our future
faith that things will work out
faith that i can overcome
but i feel like i’m finally starting to understand the importance of faith and the knowledge that
He is in control, not me {however much i want to be}.
and He will always lead me safely if i just trust in Him.
[boy is that sometimes a hard lesson to learn, yeah?]
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also, the winner of the Sebastian Design giveaway is commenter #26: Ben+Jess! CONGRATS!
thanks to everyone that entered! and remember there is another giveaway going on right now!
:)
AND! i’m guest posting over here today as well! so check it out!
(if you’re not already sick of hearing from me today….)
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