my baby boy

{caution: this is a super long post but has lots of pictures and videos. i wanted to write down all my thoughts and feelings before i forgot everything. read at your own discretion.}

at 3:04pm exactly a week ago, I got to hold this perfect little guy for the first time.

it was the most amazing experience. and i feel so blessed for having gone through it all. the Lord blessed me greatly. I could never praise him enough.

we had been hoping and praying that I would have the baby last week since finals were done and I was in a lot of pain from the pregnancy. it was hard to walk or sit or sleep because i was so uncomfortable. my bones felt like they were breaking and i was just at the end of my rope. i wanted my baby and i was losing patience with my body.

we had a doctor’s appointment the Monday before and he said that it is very rare to actually have the baby on the due date especially with first time mothers. he told me i was barely dilated to a 2+ and we decided to have him strip my membranes (which is as painful as it sounds). he said there’s a 50/50 chance this will progress my labor and we were willing to try it.

Adam was nervous because although i was done with finals, he had a huge final he still needed to take Tuesday afternoon. so we prayed that my body would accommodate and the baby would stay in one more day. by Tuesday night though, i was losing all hope. my body didn’t feel any different and i just felt like this baby would never come. i went to bed so discouraged and besides not being able to sleep because i was in pain, i couldn’t sleep even more because i was so distraught.

the next morning at about 8:30, i woke up feeling kind of crampy and couldn’t go back to sleep. i didn’t think much of because i had felt cramps throughout the whole pregnancy and the doctors always told me it was normal stretching pains and i was fine. so i just kept thinking that. i tried to take a warm shower to get my mind off of it and by 9:30 or so the cramps started getting worse. i would feel fine one minute and then all of a sudden i would have intense cramps like my period was starting and i couldn’t move. Adam asked me if i was going into labor but i refused to believe it. i didn’t want to get my hopes up.

we had already scheduled another doctor’s appointment for Wednesday morning at 10:40 to see if they could strip my membranes again or if i was dilated enough to get induced. we decided to keep the appointment because we didn’t want to go to the hospital and have them send us home. the whole way there i was feeling these pains over and over and Adam kept asking if we should just go to the hospital. i told him i was fine and to just go to the doctor.

when we got there, i told the receptionist how i was feeling and if i could get in as soon as possible. the nurse came to get me and asked again if i wanted to go to the hospital. i told her i was feeling okay and i didn’t want to run the risk of being sent home. she understood and got me ready for the doctor. when the doctor came in, she checked me and said, “wow you are dilated to a 5. i can feel the baby’s head. you are in labor! go to the hospital!”

it was the most surreal thing to hear the doctor tell us that. i kept trying to tell myself i wasn’t going into labor and not get my hopes up. but there it was. we were going to have a baby!!

we went home to grab a few things and then headed to the hospital. we didn’t know if we were supposed to just park or what we were supposed to do so Adam tried to find the closest parking spot available. which was actually kind of far. i kept complaining for having to walk because the contractions were getting stronger. i wanted a wheel chair so bad but we had no idea what we were supposed to be doing. so we just kept walking. 

once we got to labor and delivery, the nurse said, “where have you been?! the doctor called us right when you left. you are dilated to a 5? we were afraid you were having your baby at home.” also, when we checked with the receptionist she asked when my due date i said, “today.” she’s like, no seriously. i told her again it was today and she said, “well you are efficient.”

she showed us to the triage room (which was super nice, by the way) and told me to change.

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we then waited there for a while as some personnel came in and out asking us questions for paperwork and telling us the nurse would be right in. they all asked us, “so you went to your doctor’s office first and you were 5cm dilated?!” they thought we were crazy, which I guess we were. but we had no idea what to expect! our doctor, Dr. Dayton, came in once too to check on me and make sure I was okay. he asked the same thing about why we went into the office. he just laughed and told us congratulations and that the nurse would be in shortly.

once the nurse did come in, she hooked me up to all these monitors to check the baby’s heartbeat and my contractions.  (i’m having a hardcore contraction in this picture, not that i don’t want my face to be shown.)

 

the nurse, Katie, told us that the head nurse didn’t want to fully admit me yet because first time mothers usually go really slow and my contractions might not be really that close (or something). Katie said that from what she thinks with my contractions that they will decide to admit me but couldn’t make that decision. when she left, i turned to Adam and told him i would be so mad if they sent me home. the contractions were getting very very strong and were starting to wear me out. i just kept praying that they would keep me there and see that i needed to be there. (my sad face waiting for them to decide to give me drugs)

this was all happening by 11:30-11:45 and by 12 they decided to keep me admitted. Katie had been monitoring my contractions on a screen outside and saw that they were definitely getting worse and stronger. i was so happy when she came in to give me the IV.

that baby’s heartbeat was starting to go down slightly each time i had a contraction so they decided to put me on an oxygen mask for a precaution. i also had to stay on my left side because the baby liked it better. which really stunk cause i couldn’t see Adam anymore so he walked over to the other side to stay with me as we watched Cadet Kelly.

by about 1, the nurse checked me again and i was dilated to a 6. then the anesthesiologist came in to give me the epidural. that was something i wasn’t looking forward to and i was really nervous. i was afraid i wouldn’t be in control of my body anymore and i wanted to know what was happening. but i welcomed it because i was getting so tired from my body being wracked with pain. the nurse (now Chelsie cause Katie had to leave) said he was one of the best and i truly believe it. it didn’t hurt at all and even though i didn’t feel the pain anymore, i could still feel all the pressures of the contractions and wiggle my toes. my fears subsided.

Adam the whole time was totally taking everything in and thought all this stuff was great. from the catheter to the epidural, he was watching everything and was all smiles the whole time. i feel really bad now because i definitely wasn’t the happiest or nicest person to be with at the time. he would try to help me and rub my back and i would snap at him that he was doing it wrong {well he was…} then when i was having painful contractions, he would crack a joke or say something weird and i would get mad at him. i then laid the rule of no talking during a contraction. i mean i’m glad he was happy and all but it was super bad timing… sorry babe!

after the epidural was placed, the nurse checked me again and exclaimed, “whoa! you are already dilated to a 9!” she didn’t expect me to move so fast and my water still hadn’t broken yet. the bag of waters, she said, was the only thing that was holding my baby back at the point. so she went to call the doctor.

as she was gone to call the doctor, my sister Rhiannon showed up with reinforcements. she brought food, magazines and movies to keep us entertained thinking we were still going to be there for a while. but in reality she had gotten there just in time because as she walked in, the nurse came back with the resident doctor to break my water.

at first, they couldn’t really do it… they said it was really tough to break and that’s why it has lasted for so long. they finally got it but it still didn’t really all come out. Chelsie worked a while with it and it finally broke all the way. she checked me again and i was now a 10.

Chelsie called the doctor again and he said to have me push to get the baby moving down so you could see his head. Chelsie coached me on when to push and Adam and Rhiannon encouraged me. they told me how well i was doing and would get really excited when they saw the baby. in about 4 pushes the baby was in position. so now we had to wait for the doctor.

by 2:45 or so, the doctor came and they prepped everything for delivery. once everything was set and ready, the doctor had me push once more, and the baby was out.

{the nurses told us later that there were 4 other first time mothers that had their babies in a couple of hours too. usually first time labors take forever (like 12 hours or more) so all the nurses were super amazed at how fast we were all going. they also told us that since this baby took 4 hours, my next child’s labor will probably be even shorter too. score!}

it was amazing!! they put the baby on my stomach and Adam cut the umbilical cord. i didn’t even know what to think; it happened so fast. in one moment, the little person i was carrying for 9 months was out in the world and in my arms. i didn’t even know what to think.

they took him away to clean him up and Adam and Rhiannon went with him. they kept telling me how cute he was since I couldn’t see him while they were still working on me.

 

(this is him getting his Vitamin K shot. his reaction is so funny. even now he’s pretty good about calming down fast.)

i got to hold him for a little while and try to feed him before he went down to get cleaned up. my sister stayed with me while Adam went with the baby to the nursery. i still couldn’t believe what just happened. it didn’t seem like i had really just had a baby.

Adam came back with the baby from the nursery with videos and stories about how awesomely cute our little baby boy is. he said all the other babies would be crying during their check but our little boy was brave. he also said the whole time he was moving around a lot and the nurses commented on how much he kicks. i know. i felt him like that in the womb!

(sorry he’s naked…. also please don’t mind the nurses random conversations in the background.)

he was "small for gestational age” so he had to get his feet poked a lot… brave little guy.

we just held him and stared at how perfect he is. i love him so much!

 

he had hiccups for the first time in the hospital and we just couldn’t get enough. he’s so cute!!

i never knew how much i could love someone. (i know everyone says that when their baby is born but it’s true!) i just wanted to cry and thank the Lord for a wonderful baby that He blessed me with. after a hard pregnancy (at least hard for me) i was so scared of labor and He helped me get through it without complications or a lot of pain. i was so scared of the epidural and He helped me relax. i was so scared of breastfeeding and it all went so incredibly smooth.

i just can’t express enough how much the Lord truly blessed my life and helped me when i needed Him the most. i know He loves me. i know He loves my family. and i know a little bit more about how extensive His love truly is.