Anneli's Birth Story: Part 1

[photos by Alisha Hunsaker]

I woke up around 1:45am on Monday, July 14th after barely an hour of sleep.
Suddenly my pants felt wet.
Did I just totally lose control and wet the bed??
Did that finally happen? 
Or did my water break? 
No, I'm not going to get my hopes up about that. 

I sat up in bed, held myself and ran into the bathroom.
My pants were definitely wet through.
But from what I wasn't sure.
Or at least I didn't want to make the wrong conclusion.

Without waking Adam, I decided to take a shower.
I tried to just relax, take my time, and figure out what my body might be telling me.
After the shower, around 2:15am, I decided I should probably tell Adam.
"I think... my water may have broke."
"Are you sure it's not just wet from the shower you just took?"
"That's why I took a shower."
"Are you having contractions?"
"No."
"So what should we do?"
"I have no idea..."

We kind of sat there for a while trying to decide if we should go to the hospital to get checked out or wait until later. My water never broke with Elijah so I didn't have anything to base this new feeling on.
And it wasn't like a big gush of fluid, but more of a trickle.
Like I definitely could've just peed my pants.

Reading online we saw that labor could still take 24-48 hours to start after your water breaks.
And if your water did break, the hospital would make you stay because of risk of infection.
I really did not want to be stuck in the hospital for a whole day especially with Elijah at home.
So we decided to wait.

I told Adam to go back to sleep and I went to get ready in case we had to go to the hospital.

I called my mom around 2:30am to tell her that maybe my water broke but I wasn't sure.
She tried to tell me to go to the hospital but I still wasn't convinced since I only had one, small contraction while I was on the phone with her.
I told her we would go if they got worse and I would keep her updated.
About 15-20 minutes later though, the contractions started to come more regularly.
I told Adam he should probably start getting ready for a definite trip to the hospital.

By 3:00am I started timing the contractions.
I was still managing them okay and didn't really feel any kind of impending death.
So I continued to nonchalantly curl my hair.
{Curl my hair! Which I haven't done in months. Denial anyone???}

Adam came in and checked the contraction timer and started picking up speed.
What he noticed that I didn't seem to  was that my contractions were coming 2 minutes apart.
Kind of an important sign...

A short time later, as I was trying to get dressed, the contractions were starting to really bring me down.
Literally.
I would yell for Adam to come in while I was crouched on the floor to rub my back.
Adam would race in, rub hard & quick, and then race back out trying to put it things together and get our stuff ready. Like get the car seat in the car. Cause oh yeah, we didn't do that yet...

I called my aunt around 3:30am and asked her to meet us at the hospital for take Elijah.
She was driving in from an hour away & we didn't know if she would make it to our house in time.
So knowing our babysitter was on her way, Adam woke up Elijah and we all piled into the car.

Elijah was so tired and so confused.
"Where are we going??"
"We have to go take mom to the hospital."
"And then are we going to go look for bugs and snakes?"
"Sure buddy. We can do that too."
"What's wrong with mom?"
"She's just not feeling good."

And then about 2 minutes into the car ride...
"Adam, I think I need to push!"

{{Part 2 here}}
{{Part 3 here}}

Marriage & Babies

While I try to get back into a routine after having Baby Anneli {and deal with mastitis... so fun...} I have some really amazing friends who will be helping out with the blog. Be sure to check out their blogs and show them a little love for doing this big favor for me. 
Today, Alexis from Alexis Laughs is sharing her very real and uplifting story of how life after baby isn't always a fairy tale. Having dealt with my own post-partum depression and hormone-induced relationship struggles after Elijah was born, I can relate to much of this post and really appreciate when people talk openly about their own experiences. I think that, having personally experienced this or not, this post is powerful for all people to read to help them understand what their friends and loved ones might be going through. 
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I had heard a lot of people talk about having their first baby really strengthened their relationship with their spouse. Since my husband and I had a pretty fantastic relationship to begin with, I was excited for this aspect of having our first child.

See, aren't we so cute!

Just about everything about the process of bringing our sweet girl into this world did not go as planned.

(this was after she was born and after they had stitched me up and all that jazz. I was in so much pain I could not even move my arms to hold her. It's not a pretty picture, but reality isn't always pretty people!)

 I had a very difficult pregnancy, a traumatic delivery, and postpartum recovery wasn't so hot either. I was diagnosed with Postpartum Depression at my six week check up with my doctor. In addition to all of that stress, I had a family emergency going on and Clint was in his last semester of school; he was trying to balance work, school, internship, senior design project (he's an engineer), church responsibilities, family responsibilities, etc. 

As a result, he wasn't around as much as we both would have liked.

I grew to resent him, maybe in part because in the midst of all those sleepless nights I could hear him snoring!

 With everything going on, I felt so alone.

Borderline: Having our first baby didn't strengthen our marriage. 

It made it a lot, a lot, a lot harder!

I don't tell you this to scare you, but to prepare what reality is for so many people! Not a lot of people talk about things like this because they're difficult, but that's why it's so important to talk about them. Don't you find so much comfort knowing you're not the only one who struggles with something? It's very typical to have some turmoil between spouses, especially in those first few months following the birth of a child. But it's normal. It happens. It's part of life. I have a friend who says that her and her husband are both prepared that the first three-ish months post-baby will probably not be harmonious between them. I think it's so smart to plan. When you're prepared for that, you approach the situation differently because you know it can be temporary. 

Hormones were a huge contributor to the difficulty in my marriage. Another big thing that's important to recognize is that the kind love for your child and love for your husband aren't the same. They don't come in the same way. It's a whole different package. The love you have for your child is instant and comes naturally. They are a piece of you. I remember just staring at my daughter and sobbing because I didn't know what to do with such strong feelings of love! You have instincts to love and protect your children. It's easy to shift our love to our child, or focus more on our child than on our marriage. 

However, I've learned in these last eighteen months of being a mother that loving my husband and being quick to forgive him is one of the best things I can do for my child. She deserves to be brought up in a kind, loving home with parents who show her a good example of the blessing of marriage. I want her to feel that her home is a sanctuary and not a place of tension. It's hard, but it's attainable.

Having our first baby didn't make our marriage into a fairy tale. It made it a whole lot more work; but you know what? We made it! And we are all better because of it. Our relationship is stronger, our love is deeper.

So, if you have your first baby and you think your marriage is going to hell in a hand basket, hang in there. With the appropriate amount of love, respect, and forgiveness, it can be all kinds of amazing.

Inspiration