On Motherhood: Part 3

Having a newborn is a lot harder than I thought. I am tired {most of the time}, I don’t always know what he wants and sometimes he refuses to be put down.

But I love it. I absolutely love it.

I love him. I love the sweet spirit he brings into our home. I love that he makes me want to be a better mother everyday. I love that he makes me want to do everything I can to draw close to my Heavenly Father and the Savior so I can teach him as he grows. I love that he makes me want to try my hardest to be worthy to be his mother {for eternity}.

At night I sing him Primary songs to try to get him to sleep. As I was singing the last line of “I Wonder When He Comes Again” the other night, I remembered my parents singing it to me when I was little. When I heard the words “I’m sure he’ll call his little ones to gather round his knee” I longed to be one of the little children he calls forward. That little child is now my own son that will be called to sit upon the Savior’s knee.

I then sang "Love Is Spoken Here" and couldn’t finish. It hit me that when my child sings that song in Primary, he would think of me. HIS MOTHER. Kneeling in family prayer and “hearing the words I whisper.” I want to be the best for him. I want him to know that I love him and I love the Lord.

I love my family. And I love being a mother. {FINALLY} being a mother! I know I can live all my family {forever}.

On Motherhood: Part 2

I have always wanted to be a mother. Ever since I was a little girl and would read to my cabbage patch dolls and play house with my friends. I would even dress up my cat in our old baby clothes and carry her around like a baby.

I always wanted to take care of a baby and nurture a choice spirit of our Heavenly Father. I wanted my own family. I took every opportunity I could get to babysit the kids in the neighborhood or take care of my little cousins. I thought of all the fun things I would do with my own children someday and how great it would be to be a mom.

When I first found out I was pregnant I have admit those were not the first thoughts I had. I thought of my schooling and my temporal goals. I thought I was a failure because I didn’t think I would graduate anymore after all my hard work (and loans…) In short, I was selfish. And I am ashamed that it was like that.

Then pregnancy happened. And pregnancy was {so hard.} And I thought even more of how crazy this is. I thought so many times that I wouldn’t make it. And I thought a baby would just be too much right now. But I knew the Lord had a bigger plan than my own.

And then my precious baby was born. And all those thoughts completely vanished. I never thought I could love someone so much! I wanted nothing more at that moment than to just be {Elijah’s mother.}

more to come…

 

On Motherhood: Part 1

Before I continue on after my two month hiatus, please watch this and enjoy. And know that I love my Heavenly Father, my Savior, my son and my husband.

More on this to come.