he’s still my baby

[he made a little seat in the blanket basket. smart boy! :)]

a couple of months ago, i finally put together Elijah’s first year baby book. as i was looking through his pictures to put in it, i couldn’t believe how much he has grown.
he used to be so small & chubby!

it’s crazy to think that he is now this very active toddler, running around the apartment, getting into all kinds of trouble, when this time last year he was just barely starting to scoot around and sit up by himself.

where did my little baby go?
what happened to the nights that he would fall asleep curled up on my chest?
or when he wanted to be held by us all night long?
or he would just coo & giggle & slobber all day {without getting into the trash can}?

he’s just so big now!
and it honestly makes me sad.
it makes me sad to think that soon he will be too busy to want to cuddle with me on the couch.
or dance around to Party Rock with me.
or let me tickle his back while he lays on his pillow.

then the other night, Elijah woke up after about an hour, crying, coughing and sweating. he has been getting his molars in so it was a rough week. i went in to get him and he gently laid his head on my shoulder.

i then took him out to the living room where Adam was and all three of us sat down together,
all warm and snuggly.
i held Elijah like i did many many times before, cradled in my arms.
he just laid there, rubbing my arm with his little hand, and stared at me straight in my eyes.

all of a sudden i had this overwhelming feeling overcome me.
love.
Elijah just looked at me like he has many many times before.
the same way he looked at me when he was a tiny, wrinkly infant in the hospital, meeting each other for the first time.
the same way he looked at me when he was a small, snuggly baby and i would bounce him on the bed to go to sleep.
the same way he looked at me when he was a chubby, rolly-polly baby and i would calm him down when he had croup.
his quiet, loving look has been the same for 17 1/2 months now.

the look that i am his mom & he is my baby.
my baby.
always my baby.

 

 

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