are you calling me fat???

last friday i had my appointment with WIC to watch a riveting video on breastfeeding.

while the video is a story on it’s own, this story takes place when i first walked in and was asked to step on the scale.

the kind lady marked down my weight then looked down on my chart with a concerned expression. she then held up a chart that marked my progress in weight and if i was staying on the path of healthy obesity.

she had marked me {off the path} she then went on to tell me how i had a unusually large spike in my weight gain and i need to be careful.

“make sure you are not over-eating” she said “and you are only eating when you are hungry, not all the time.”

i was completely devastated. i could only muster up a weak “okay” to her claims that i was unhealthy.

then as we were going into the room to watch the video, i proceeded to try to convince her that i was healthy.

“i only eat carrots! and yogurt!”

i could’ve screamed it. my self-esteem was shot to the ground.

the worker said i’m fat. worst thing ever you could say to a pregnant woman.

i was paranoid about it all weekend. i kept telling adam that i was afraid to eat too much and was very {very} extra cautious of what i ate during the day.

{then.} we went to the doctor, whom i trust a little more than the kind government workers, and he said:

“your weight is great. you are fine and healthy. and it looks like you are only gaining a lot in your stomach which is nice, huh? (as he turns to adam who nods in agreement)”

hallelujah to the doctor! i can now eat again without fah-reaking out that i’m going to have a heart attack.

adam told me later, “you still look good” in his attempt to make me feel better.

it did.