it’s funny how the littlest things become the biggest milestones

this is actually Eli’s 2nd time rolling over. Adam put him down on his stomach on the play mat earlier while he was working on an essay. he started squawking a bit but nothing like crazy crying so we were trying to let him learn how to be by himself (he looooooves attention and wants you looking at him all the time or he gets angry). all of a sudden he stopped and Adam looked down at him and he was on his back. Elijah looked like he was in shock with what just happened and Adam said, “Um, he just rolled over…”

so like any good parents we grabbed our camera and tried to get him to do it again. at that point, he just laid there quietly for a while like he was exhausted from rolling over the first time. but eventually he got into position again and we videotaped it.

i love it!

and i love him!

and it does kind of make me a teensy-bit sad to realize he’s already growing up so fast….

what I thought I knew


When I was pregnant and preparing to be a new mother, I thought I had it all figured out. I made lists and rules in my head that I swore I would abide by. These were my top 5:

  • my baby would never sleep in our bed
  • I would practice babywearing religiously
  • my baby would never drink formula unless it was absolutely necessary
  • me and Adam would get the baby right when he starts making hunger cues so he never cried (Adam once said to me when I was pregnant “Let’s make sure we always get him right at his first signs so that our baby will never learn to cry, ok?”)
  • I would give him tummy time religiously

yeah… Then I had a baby. and all my expectations flew out the window. I had to change my list. and more importantly, I had to adjust to what best suited me and my family.

  • my baby sleeps between me and Adam almost every night (and I’m still always embarrassed admitting that…) because that was the only way he would stay asleep when he was first born. swaddling? I know people swear by it but it just didn’t work for us
  • I do wear my baby in a carrier but not religiously. though he does love it.
  • he has drank formula on occasions when I can’t feed him (and I also hate admitting that…)
  • hunger cues and crying? we tried. and haven’t failed completely. but in regards to never crying? we failed.  there are other things to cry about besides hunger it turns out and I’m still devastated when I hear him cry. I feel horrible when I don’t know how to help him… [literally I cry with him] but I have mastered the bounce technique that helps calm him down
  • and tummy time is very forgetful to me. especially when all I can think about is sleep. I’m sure some die hards would tell me I’m ruining his developmental growth…

after going over my list of hopes and dreams of how I would be a perfect mother, I get discouraged at times because I feel like I failed. I guess I’m not a perfect mother.

but I try. and I try to make him happy. I try to keep him healthy {and alive}. which is important right? and I try to do the best for my family even if it’s not quite what all the specialists have said.

then I think of what my Aunt Shelley said to me last week when I went to visit her.

“You don’t have to explain to anyone what you do. You know you are doing the best you know how. And that’s all you have to say. You are doing your best.”

I may not let him cry himself to sleep or give him enough Tummy Time. and I may hold him too much and or not have set nap times.

but I’m doing my best. and that’s all I know how.


personality is eternal



A little after Then:


And Now:

DSC04317 (is this not the funniest picture ever???)

The boy loves his hands.



heart melting

this was from about a month ago maybe… so he’s way chunkier now. but still super cute. enjoy!

Elijah talking to Adam

Meet Eli




  • eating
  • sleeping
  • Mommy
  • Daddy
  • his little bear
  • his pacifier
  • walking around
  • seeing the world
  • his bouncer
  • talking
  • his Mommy singing
  • baths
  • his bear rattle
  • cuddling
  • his Daddy bouncing him on his knee
  • his hands {loves loves loves}
  • the T.V. or any moving pictures
  • his Bjorn
  • his cousins/other little kids


  • getting dressed/undressed (the clothes over his head thing… freak out)
  • sitting in one place for too long
  • the sun
  • the wind
  • {sometimes} going to bed
  • not being able to see his Mommy or Daddy
  • not being able to see all around him
  • Justin Bieber
  • drums
  • Mom playing the Wii while holding him in the Bjorn 

i don’t say it enough…


But I really {really} love my siblings.

Rhiannon: with her imepcable fashion sense and amazing creativity, she puts anyone to shame in my eyes when it comes to arts and crafts. I told my mom that I wished I could have just a sliver of her creativity and I would be happy. she has wonderful ideas and is so good at executing them. I have been jealous of her since I could talk for how cool she is.she’s the coolest ever. she is always there when I need her the most even if it is just for some good laughs and chocolate. she is one of the best big sisters anyone could ask for and I’m so glad she’s mine.

Dallin: you never fail to laugh out loud around him. his laugh is completely contagious and is one of my favorite sounds in the world. seriously. if you heard it you would love it too. he always makes me feel good and never makes me feel insignificant. even when I was little and he would pick on me [like a good big brother], he still made me feel like I was of great worth and I always knew he loved me. I couldn’t ask for a better brother.

Lauren: she is one of the kindest people you will ever meet. sure, we didn’t get along the best when we were little. but I was a pretty annoying little sister, any of them could attest to that. but I will never forget the day Lauren moved away. it was one of the saddest days of my life. she is the best listener and always makes me feel important. she doesn’t belittle me or make feel like my worries are stupid and silly. when I talk to her, I feel like she is right in the room with me putting her arm around me. I love joking with her and laughing with her. she does so much for me and I could never thank her enough. I only hope someday I will become as giving and selfless as she is. because honestly, I can’t think of a time that Lauren wouldn’t do anything for any one of us.

{and of course, I love their spouses too.}